I agree with most on here, owever in my words...You need to let go.
I know you still love him, otherwise you wouldnt have given him another chance. You have kids, you are married..
But when someone does this...its a like jumping to a different island and burning the bridge that got you there. He cant get YOU, your mind, trust, emotions, back. He may actually want it. You may want it. But its just not happening is it?!
I think you need to stop wonderingif it can be worked ut and start thinking thinking that no matter how bad you want it to, no matter how bad he wants it to, its just not going to work. Sometimes you can love a person and i still may not work.
There are several things that hold a marriage together, and you need each and everyone. If one or a couple of those things go...its just not the same, and it wont work. Think of car...You need everything there to make it run, without a tire, it wont go. Without a fuel, without brakes ect...no matter how minor or great you need them ALL.
When he did that, he took SEVERAL things away. And is now going oh $hit...wait..I want the car to run..I want it back. But its a one time deal. If it were so easy to repair and fix those MAJOR things he did, then it wouldnt be so hard and hurtful...those things that are easier to fix are white lies, or a communication problems, or IN LAW issues...not what HE did.
I think you need to gather up your smiles, and be happy to know that YOU did all you could. And that even tho hes trying...its just still not going to work. Id walk away with peace knowing it wasnt even you first off, and accepting that what he did was far to burnt to even dig thru the ashes for.
You'll do fine, especially knowing you didnt do any of this. It will make you stronger, and have a so-much-happier relationship in the future. Im excited for you..knowing that you'll be on your way to true happiness soon, while the rest of us sit here and debate if we've given it our all.
You have. Go and live life