We've been married for 20+ years, two teen girls. Hubby is an admitted OCD control freak, who is getting worse by the day. Last week we argued because he didn't like the front grill of a SUV I was admiring, but I said I kinda do like it. He responded as he always does... "yeah, ofcourse you WOULD like it because I don't". I can't have my own opinion without feeling bad about it. I'm by nature a happy positive thinking person. He is negative, and bitter, but only with me and te kids. Our kids are good, accomplished involved kids, but their kids. He makes them feel like they're always falling short of his approval. I've discussed this with him and now he belittles me, and then pouts about it. If things don't go HIS way, he's mad. He will occasionally concede, but he'll remind me several times that he did. He complains if the kids leave without giving him a kiss, but yet he NEVER reaches out to them. He expects everyone to come to him.
He drives down the street making angry comments about how stupidly a car is parked, how he wants to move because of all the "F-ing" kids in the CDS, He complains that the neighbors have too much furniture on their porch (they have two rockers). He complains that his brother-in-law bought the wrong truck...that he should have bought one with an extra cab. I've been hearing this one for THREE YEARS!! He complains about and to the kids daily. Can't give a compliment without it being followed by some negative comment. This is how his mother is, and for years, I used to ask him why she is always unhappy. Now it's him. He seems to be his most content when he has destroyed everyone elses mood. I can't live like this anymore. There's no laughter, no fun, I dread being home when he is, yet I miss the fun loving person he used to be. I want to talk to him about going to counseling himself, but anything I say is construde as an attack. Several months ago, we had a talk wherein he broke down, and told me that his parents fought non-stop, and he doesn't want to be like that, yet it seems like he is recreating his childhood environment, because he is comfortable there??? Please help.