10-08-2009, 05:28 PM
Join Date: Sep 2009
| | Re: She wants out, and I know allot
OK, well counseling was interesting, first time I never saw a shrink. New a few who became shrinks from college, but never actually did it. Interesting.
I was kicked in the groin last night by the counselor basically supporting that she is changing and “I am relationship ignorant… really a disability that it is not my fault” She needs to help me catch up with her and it was not my fault. Not sure if that will happen she is pretty darn stubborn when it comes to it.
Also, by me trying to “fix” everything as “all guys do” we come across as controlling and over bearing, (No SH*T). But that may help that information I found useful…I may not try to I anything right now. I have had allot of time to think about this today, and I think I will be civil, but not inquisitive or domineering.
She finally slept last night for the first time in three weeks (glad someone did). Also found out as suspected the collapse really escalated in August. The financial is impacting, but what I was surprised about was that nothing about her turning 40. I can’t believe it because she has been different for the last nine months. All our friends have had problems similar to this, and even older woman friends in my family admitted to being more flirtatious at this change.
He did focus on her feeling of being controlled for a long time and even from her father, this was leading somewhere and I thought maybe that is why independent sessions would do more good (I am questioning that today… thoughts?).
We have two more sessions free, and we elected to do them separately. She has some issues she is holding back, and I surely didn’t throw her under the bus for the EA on FB.
She actually seemed happy I think last night that she wasn’t crazy…
I am so exhausted, tired, my heart absolutely hurts, with no family for either of us within 2500 miles, I can say not being able to hug her for my benefit and for hers is killing me.
During the session she said she is afraid that if she does touch me she will fall back into the “pit”, so touching me is a risk so that is why she won’t show any affection. She did say that she was undecided on the Divorce, but 99% sure she wanted to proceed.
I am so tired and sad I think tomorrow is a sick day, my productivity has absolutely gone to wind, can’t concentrate more then 20 minutes on any given project.
Three-day weekend and some Halloween decorting should be fun. Use to be our favorite holiday.
Hanging in there another day...