Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In a house, or in a clinic.
Re: I am no longer in love or attracted to my husband..
summersun, I no longer want to go to work. I no longer feel the satisfaction that I once did in evaluating people. Oh, the bennies are good, don't get me wrong. I have a six figure salary. I have my own assistant. She's also cute. I have limited flexibility in my week, I mean the ability to write hours off my schedule to allow me to attend events that most people could not. I have prestige, and a good reputation within our community, but I'm just not satisfied. Something is missing. Drat.
It's taken me years to achieve these skills and tens of thousands of dollars, but it just doesn't make me happy anymore. I'm just going to walk away from it all. I'm going to throw it all away. I know people who have done nothing wrong will be effected for the worse by my decision, but ultimatley it is my life, so their needs in essence don't matter.
On my life charter, personal satisfaction and fufillment reign supreme. My patient's can find another health care provider, my family can step up and do without. Who needs a house. Who needs the little things, you know...high def tv, vacations, cell phones. Heck you can even do without a dentist for awhile.
My wife can go to work. She has a degree. It seems almost a shame she doesn't use it. She's not happy at home anyway with our 4 year old. I'm probably doing her a favor. See I don't have a responsibility to anyone but my self or should I say my Self-ISH. Yah, that's how I'll refer to myself from now on...my self-ISH. That's how I'll refer to you too... SELFISHsun.
Here's a little something you need to hear my dear...don't feel like being affectionate with your husband? Well, friggin do it anyway. The world doesn't care if your happy. Some of the most useless people I have ever encountered in my life have been obsessed with this fickle thing you call happiness. Do you know what these people are commonly called? They are called junkies, crack heads, tweakers, and so on. The very thing that they thought was liberating them, actually ended up destroying them. Don't be among their number.
Love your husband. Cherrish your family. Why, because you friggin made a solemn vow to do so. Honor it, and by doing so you'll honor yourself. It may not make you immediately happy, in fact I am sure it won't. However if you suceed in making those around you happy, in time the heat of their affection will radiate back to you, and you will feel loved by the relective warmth of your actions. If nothing else, you will have lived a noble life summersun. What you are looking for doesn't even exist my dear, at least not where you are searching for it. Love your husband and in doing so love yourself. LIL