Left my husband,now what?

teachermom · 03-11-2008, 11:31 PM

Today I left my husband and I'm so confused. We've been having problems in our marriage for a long time now. I just got fed up today, packed some things and left, with my three kids. We have three young children. I hate that we're doing this to them, b/c we love our kids so much. We argue about the same things over and over again. We try to work things out, but it seems hopeless. I would to go to a marriage counselor, but he's not open to the idea. I really love my husband, and I know that he loves me also, but we just don't know what to do anymore. We fight over the relationship, work, household responsibilities. Can I get some good advice?
-teachermom

draconis · 03-12-2008, 01:33 AM

What advice are you looking for?

How to fix the marriage? How to best serve the children? Where to go from here?

draconis

teachermom · 03-12-2008, 10:11 AM

Well, I want to get all of the above done. I want my marriage to work. I want my children to grow up in a safe, nurturing and loving home. I'm at my parents now, so I don't know if I should try talking to my husband again. It seems like a waste of time. I don't even know if he wants this to work.

draconis · 03-12-2008, 10:44 PM

If you want the marriage to have another try then simply ask for a date with your hubby. Often relationships fall away because the things that attracted us to the other people fade away with mundane life. We stop holding hands, hugging, kissing and going on dates.

As far as the children are concerned were they mentally, physically, emotionally, or sexually abused? Are you afraid they will see parents unhappy or learn behaviors that are unhealthy for relationships?

Where you go from here is up to you, but remember take your time that is the one thing on your side. If you "date" your hubby for six months and things are not where you want them to be atleast you have closure. If things improve then great. But the one thing you have is time, so use it to make sure you are doing the right thing.

draconis

teachermom · 03-13-2008, 07:05 PM

Thanks, this has been helpful. You said exactly what my husband said was missing. We NEED to make time for each other and a date night sounds like good advice. I want my husband and I to be good role models of what a healthy marriage should look like. We are going to start seeing a counselor to help improve our relationship. Thanks for listening.

draconis · 03-13-2008, 08:30 PM

LEt your DH know that everyday and every chance love should be shared. All those huggs and peck kisses, the I love you, I miss you, those little notes and cuddly time really make a huge impact.

I wish you the best of luck, it really sounds like you have the right idea and are heading in the right direction.

draconis