Trying not to fall out of love!

lonelynewlywed · 11-03-2009, 09:43 PM

My husband and I have been married for a little over a year now and all signs of love have vanished. We have a 2 yr old daughter with a lot of medical issues and we both work full time. Orginally I was a stay at home mom and understood why my husband was tired but now that I work more hours then he does I don't understand why he has no attention for me. We have argued a lot in the past year about sharing responsibilities and most of the time I feel like his mother. I have tried everything I can to nicely come to some solution and he swears things will be different and while some of them are he seems to be fading further and further away. I practically beg for sexual attention daily just to get some glimse that he is still interested. Everytime I ask him what is wrong I am told nothing and that I am crazy for thinking he isn't happy.
I got ignored so much in the past few months or shot down that I have given up and tried to bring the ball into my court by depriving him of attention but he hasn't even noticed! I don't know what else to do, I always thought it was the women who had to remember that men had needs and they needed to be fufilled but in our case apparently the same isn't true for your wife. I don't know what else to do. I know in past relationships when things get so seperated you start to pick each other apart until you can't stand the one another anymore and I don't want that to happen. I love him and he says he loves me but I don't see it and I am not in a marriage to be alone!

*restless* · 11-04-2009, 08:41 PM

thats how I feel with my husband, if I try to get close to him he pushes me off, or turns over in bed, I feel like the man and the woman in this relationship. I was where you were in the beginning where I tried to deprive him attention and all it did was get me comfortable being alone with no notice from him at all. And talking about it changes things for what.. a day or two and then its right back to the old lifeless, passionless, disrespectful, non helpful husband I have come to know over the past 5 years

lonelynewlywed · 11-04-2009, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *restless*

thats how I feel with my husband, if I try to get close to him he pushes me off, or turns over in bed, I feel like the man and the woman in this relationship. I was where you were in the beginning where I tried to deprive him attention and all it did was get me comfortable being alone with no notice from him at all. And talking about it changes things for what.. a day or two and then its right back to the old lifeless, passionless, disrespectful, non helpful husband I have come to know over the past 5 years

Wow that makes me want to give up now and save myself 4 yrs of being alone! I just don't get it, he wasn't like this when we first meet, he couldn't get enough of me and now its like he has lost all desire, I thought maybe I wasn't attractive to him but he insists I'm silly and doesn't pass up a chance to smack my butt all day but even that never leads to anything! Has anyone out there found a way to overcome this issue???

MEM11363 · 11-04-2009, 11:28 PM

What was his desire like in the beginning?
When did it start to drop?
When did it disappear?

Have either of you changed physically? Gained weight?

You are in a sexless marriage - this is sometimes fixable - but there is zero chance of fixing it unless he wants to fix it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lonelynewlywed

My husband and I have been married for a little over a year now and all signs of love have vanished. We have a 2 yr old daughter with a lot of medical issues and we both work full time. Orginally I was a stay at home mom and understood why my husband was tired but now that I work more hours then he does I don't understand why he has no attention for me. We have argued a lot in the past year about sharing responsibilities and most of the time I feel like his mother. I have tried everything I can to nicely come to some solution and he swears things will be different and while some of them are he seems to be fading further and further away. I practically beg for sexual attention daily just to get some glimse that he is still interested. Everytime I ask him what is wrong I am told nothing and that I am crazy for thinking he isn't happy.
I got ignored so much in the past few months or shot down that I have given up and tried to bring the ball into my court by depriving him of attention but he hasn't even noticed! I don't know what else to do, I always thought it was the women who had to remember that men had needs and they needed to be fufilled but in our case apparently the same isn't true for your wife. I don't know what else to do. I know in past relationships when things get so seperated you start to pick each other apart until you can't stand the one another anymore and I don't want that to happen. I love him and he says he loves me but I don't see it and I am not in a marriage to be alone!

ytmuse · 12-21-2009, 12:02 AM

please work on your marriage .cutting is not the only soultion

Blanca · 12-21-2009, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lonelynewlywed

I got ignored so much in the past few months or shot down that I have given up and tried to bring the ball into my court by depriving him of attention but he hasn't even noticed!

My H didnt notice i was ignoring him for the longest time either. It took about six months, at least.

Do you think your H might still be texting, or talking, with the other girl? He'll never notice if you ignore him if he's getting attention somewhere else.