over 25 years and ready to leave

ssf82 · 03-15-2008, 05:25 PM

I have been married for over 25 years to my high school sweetheart and am ready to leave. My youngest child is a senior in high school and I realize that we have nothing in common. He comes home from work, watches tv and basically ignores me. When I try to have a conversation with him, he has nothing to say. He is not a bad person, but I want to have fun and laugh and do things. He does not like to socialize and I have stopped inviting friends over as he makes it very uncomfortable because he does not interact with them either. He even acts like this with his children.
I am terrified to start over and face being on my own, any advice????

draconis · 03-15-2008, 07:19 PM

A few suggestions.

1) Can he be suffering from depression or a mid life crisis? If he might then talk to him and suggest he talk to the family doctor.

2) Instead of letting yourself die inside communicate with him about what is bothering you. If he doesn't know then he can't fix it. Tell him he wooed you by dating and you want one date a week and someone that will show interest in you not compaciency.

draconis

bluebird · 03-19-2008, 08:09 AM

Wow, I feel like I could be writing the exact same post in about 14 yrs. My youngest is 3 right now.

You said you realize now that you have nothing in common with your spouse?How long have you felt that way? I feel the exact same way. My spouse is a good person,a good provider.BUT...we never spend any time together, he has other interests. I cant imagine what it would be like when all the kids are gone, to still be married. Its very lonely being in a marriage when you have nothing in common with your spouse.

I hope you find a solution. Sorry I have no advice, just wanted you to know I can understand where u are coming from.

Immortalone · 03-19-2008, 08:15 AM

One thing I keep saying over and over. Go on a Date. Just because your married does not mean you can't date. Think about it. When did you have the most fun in your relationship? When you were dating of course. I don't mean dinner at McDonlds either. Think back to what you use to do when you were dating. Did you go roller skating? Walking in the park? making out at the lake? What ever it was find it again. Sounds like your in a rut and your life has become boring. Make the effort to bring the fun back into it. Tell him you want the fun back in it. I think any relationship can with stand time if your willing to put the effort into it. Also make sure the Date is just the two of you. No kids tagging along.

Anna · 06-16-2008, 10:22 PM

Relocate and find a job to take care of yourself. But before you do, be sure to get a lawyer who is able to write out a separation agreement. He could file abandonment charges against you if you don't do this.

He is most likely terribly depressed and thinks he can oust you from the home by being distant and hoping you will go or least likely, having an affair.