My wife is threatening ...

CompletelyLost · 11-20-2009, 10:16 AM

I have no idea where else to turn and am hoping someone can provide me with some advice and guidance.

I have been married 24 years. The first 15 were great, but the last 9 have been horrible. My wife is an alcoholic and has been in and out of treatment for the last 9 years. She has been sober for a year, with one relapse a few months ago. I have been finished with the marriage for about 5 years now but was just hanging in until my kids were all away at school. They are all in college now, happy and starting their own lives and i am ready to end my marriage and move on with my life. The only thing that is holding me back is that my wife has threatened to kill herself with alcohol and sleeping pills if i ever leave her. The thing is, neither of us is committed to making the marriage work, and I don't understand why she would threaten such a thing. i asked her for a diverce about 3 years ago and she suffered an overdose then. I cannot stay in this marriage any longer, but I cannot bear the fear or the guilt of her harming herself.

Has anyone been in a similar position? What can I do?

Deejo · 11-20-2009, 06:01 PM

Talk to an attorney. People here can give you advice until the cows come home. You need a professional.

If your spouse is that self-destructive, it really isn't something to mess with. Perhaps if she knew you were going to have her committed, she wouldn't act out.

queenb · 11-22-2009, 02:01 PM

you need to talk with her and ask her why she threatens her life if she knows theres nothing left in your relationship. maybe shes afraid to be alone after so long, i have that fear too!!!! Get her some help!!!!!my cousin had that problem and my aunt had called the police at the time of the threat and they took her away and she ended up in treatment and has been better for 8years now. that might not something you want to do but it might work. also speak to a counsler see what they recomened.

Atholk · 11-22-2009, 04:00 PM

If she states an intent to self-harm and has the means to carry out that threat, call 911.

sisters359 · 11-22-2009, 04:21 PM

You should speak with a medical professional; call your doctor. Chances are they will advise you to bring her to an ER for evaluation, or they will send over the police to talk to her and THEY will take her to an ER.

Your wife needs a lot more help--and thus you do as well-- than anyone here can provide. The only choice is to turn to the pros.

I can relate a bit to your experience, and it is traumatic. God bless you and guide you, whatever comes. I hope your wife finds the help she needs, for her sake as well as your's and the kids'.

Corpuswife · 11-24-2009, 08:38 PM

If she isn't seeing a counselor (individual) then she needs to be this week!

This is a statistic that may stick in her mind:

A person who commits suicide will increase their childrens chances of also committing suicide. The risk of your children committing suicide goes up when a parent has done this. NO parent wants to leave this legacy.

I knew this and it stopped me from committing suicide (during my depression days).