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Old 03-19-2008, 12:08 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Question Depressoin,misscariages,substance Abuse,now What

\ok I Will Try To Condense This We Feel Deep In Love Got Married He Did Drugs I Struggled With Depression We Had Misscariages Then Had A Baby.....he Did More Drugs I Had An Affair He Found Out We Moved To Montanna Away From All My Family And Friends I Whent To College He Whent To Work And He Started To Drink Heavley, I Left He Whent To Rehab....i Was Working Being Mommy Going To School Full Time.....he Got Out Of Rehab....drank A Few Times And Was Out A Few Nights I Started To Get Realy Depressed, I Am Now Done With School...so I Woke Up One Morning And Wanted To Die Instead I Jumped On A Plane With The Kids And Now I Am In California And I Am Still Not Happy He Calles And Says I Stole The Kids....inspite Of Everything He Never Was Abusive Never Was A Mean Person And Loves His Kids Realy...i Feel Like A Horrible Person And He Does Have Away Of Making This Feel Like I Am To Blame And We Should Work Things Out I Dont Want To Hurt Him And When He Calls We Do Love Eachother I Do Tell Him That Yes We Could Work On Things...............................but Can We Realy Should We....we Have Tried Couples Retreats Therapy Church I Have Been On Meds And Accupunture He Has Done Rehabe Now Were Over A Thousand Miles Away From One Another..he Misses The Kids And He Cries Its Breaking My Heart....but I Cant If We Stay Apart Move Closer To Him I Realy Like Living Close To My Friend And Family
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Old 07-24-2008, 11:45 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Depressoin,misscariages,substance Abuse,now What

If he misses the kids so much, why doesn't he move closer? People with substance abuse problems (I've worked in the field) generally are not ready for recovery until they have hit their own personal rock bottom. This varies from person to person but it may be years before he hits his. If he continues to use, than he shouldn't be around the children. He could really affect them and cause a great deal of damage.
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Old 07-26-2008, 07:35 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Depressoin,misscariages,substance Abuse,now What

i think your coping with to much for a lot of ppl to deal with. you are not in n e way an easy situation.
but being a mother before a wife, my kids come first. id protect them with my life and id probably do my best in that situation to keep them away from him until he really has detoxed.
just an example.
look at ppl in rehab, celebrities - how many of them are allowed access to their children, britney spears , none whilst in rehab.
once in rehab, answer is none.
i just think you need to re-evaluate this situation as a , as and when situation.
but i think at some point you need to get some kind of 3 party in volved at some point. supervised visitations with his children and nothing else. maybe go a a meeting with him.
its your children you have to protect.
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