When he/she says that they've never loved you
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Divorce and Separation »Considering Divorce or Separation » When he/she says that they've never loved you

Considering Divorce or Separation If you're considering divorce or separation, this is the place to talk.

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-03-2009, 04:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 18
Default When he/she says that they've never loved you

What do you do at that point? Do you even try? I mean you can't make someone love you so what's the point.

My husband recently realized that he doesn't love me "in that way" and never has. In the back of his mind he's always considered our relationship more of a friendship but just recently even admitted it to himself.

We are supposed to start marriage counseling next week but I don't even know if it's worth the effort anymore.

I think I've been going through all the grief emotions and I've finally reached the acceptance stage.

I really truly love him with all my heart and I always thought that he felt the same. I'm just asking for any advice anyone has to give.

Thank you
magmag is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Old 12-03-2009, 05:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
Atholk's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,428
Default Re: When he/she says that they've never loved you

It's more than likely not true. Many partners completely rewrite their entire history of the relationship when they decide they want out.

It's a cunning line actually, intended to make you feel actually a little sorry for the poor man trapped in a relationship with someone he didn't truly love for all these years. You're meant to feel that you are the crazy one, not that he's being a complete tool for just walking out on you.

You know, it just a line, like... if you truly loved someone, you would set them free. (and perhaps not sue them)
The Mindful Attraction Plan
Atholk is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-11-2009, 01:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: canada
Posts: 816
Default Re: When he/she says that they've never loved you

try the marriage counselling maybe a 3rd point of view will bring out the truths, I think people say a lot of things they don't mean in this kind of situation. At least you will know and won't have to question what really is true, if it's true, brush yourself off and move forward if there is something to work on you will know, just be honest and see if you can get to the truth.......good luck
jessi is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-18-2009, 10:26 PM   #4 (permalink)
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 112
Default Re: When he/she says that they've never loved you

Hi there.
Just wondering what has come of the counselling sessions thus far.
This is a common story I've heard, and one even in my own marriage.
One thing I've noticed in my own marriage is that my W wants to 'feel' like she's in love just as we were when first married. An immature yardstick of intimacy, but it was the reality for her.

Now she still shows remnants of this attitude but it does seem she is working her way out of it. It still rears its ugly head even now.

So take heart and work through the deeper issues first before giving up.
Weathered is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How to let go of someone you once loved? Toshiba2020 Dealing with Grief and Loss 5 05-01-2012 12:11 AM
Should I tell her I always loved her? AnotherEarthling Sex in Marriage 7 11-07-2011 09:09 PM
I wish I loved my hand that much Kitty_Kat Sex in Marriage 15 01-10-2011 02:13 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:

Sponsored Ads

Sponsored Ads

Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:08 AM.

Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.