not my fault...
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 12-23-2009, 12:57 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy not my fault...

its not fidelity but he thinks it is....i have never cheated on my husband nor even thought about it...i always get junk emails but never open or pay any attention to them...I have an unused myspace account and an active facebook account...i am open for him to go in my facebook or email anytime....he opens into some "adultfriendfinder" website and finds my butt in a bikini (only butt and boob pics) with me soliciting sex from local strangers....takes his ring off, calls me a **** and to f*&k off...i have begged him to let me prove that it is not my page..he said he will stay only if i can prove..i am trying but everyone says its really hard and better to let him go if he doesn't trust...i understand how he would feel but to not even have a "little" faith since i have never been unfaithful....he is leaving back for iraq in 2 weeks...xmas is in 2 days and we are leaving for a family vacation to florida w/ our 2 children in 5 days...i didn't do anything but if i can't prove anything my marriage is over...
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Old 12-23-2009, 02:57 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: not my fault...

Is the pic of you ?
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Old 12-24-2009, 06:46 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: not my fault...

Yes, it is your pic? If not, can you not prove this? If it is, could someone have gotten this somewhere?
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Old 12-24-2009, 08:05 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: not my fault...

Not many people have sufficient computer savy to avoid scam artists.

A wrong click can lead to identity theft, fraud, or an impossible to errase presence in the seedy underworld of stolen porn.

If you are truely innocent, ask your husband to investigate what went wrong. Give him passwords, account names, etc. and ask him to protect your privacy by finding out how a hacker got a hold of private information. You should also backup computer data, then reformat your computer, then change all financial passwords. If they can get a hold of a nudy pic, they can get to something more critical also.

If you have been unfaithful, stop hiding and work it out with your husband.
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Old 12-24-2009, 08:16 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: not my fault...

By the way, what your husband suspects you of is a very uncommon form of infidelity for women.

Most women who are unfaithful do so in a well understood pattern that begins with seeing their husband as insufficiently successful or ambitious, followed by loosing interest in intimacy, followed by flirtatious behaviour with other men, followed by a rapid and difficult to control attraction to one very successful man, followed by an often prolonged and hidden affair that leaves the wife feeling guilty of her actions but powerless to stop herself.

Crude solicitation such as you describe is pathological and rare. Husbands who want to have an affair are more likely to follow this pattern, which is why there is a market for stolen pictures of women in order to create the impression that "casual sex" sites actually have a female clientelle. The men would not pay to participate in such sites if they knew that there are 100 men for every genuine female client. So the owners of casual sex sites "pad" the female side of it with hundreds of stolen identities.

Your storry is plausible, and your husband should do some investigating to inform himself. Attractive women who are careless with nudy pics very quickly end up as "virtual" solicitors on seedy sites.

They sell such stolen pictures to each other, so it will probably be impossible for you to ever clean up your name.
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