04-01-2008, 01:06 PM
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Temporary Resident of Earth Lord Only Knows Where Next
| | Re: I don't know where to begin? Let me try.....
I agree with you that this relationship is potentially dangerous to your marriage. It could be undermining you and your husband as a couple and you are smart in bringing it to his attention. It hurts you and at the very least he should acknowledge it and explain exactly what it is. While I agree with GAsoccerman to some extent I don’t here. It is fine for couples to have friends of the opposite sex. Nothing wrong in that but if that friendship is hidden or potentially hurtful to the marriage it must be discussed and fully understood by the couple. My wife was engaged is such a relationship for many months and eventually developed very deep feelings for him. It definitely hurt me and our marriage. She had always had close male friends and it was never a problem in the past so I didn’t see the red flags when they presented themselves. Even now that it is over, we have not recovered for a number of reasons. I wouldn’t be overly concerned about the number of calls. 70 over 5 months is only about every other day or so. Maybe that is a concern, maybe not, but I’d be more concerned about the verbal abuse. If your husband engages in this kind of behavior on a regular basis he does not respect you or your wishes. Calling you stupid during a time like this is uncalled for and sounds defensive. If you wish to save the marriage you are right, counseling is a must. With all the stresses and issues you are dealing with in your life now take care of yourself and that baby. Good luck.
PS I have learned the hard way not to blame every outburst, concern or emotional stress in a woman to be related to a pregnancy, menstrual cycle or menopause. Take care.
Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.
"Some of the greatest lessons life has taught me came from my darkest days in it" -Amp