01-10-2010, 04:48 PM
Join Date: Jan 2010
| | how do you know you made the right decision????
I found out about my husband's EA on June 4th 2008. Yes, it has been 18 months. I went through all the usual emotions...anger, numb, sad, anger, rage, vengence....you name it and I felt it. My husband went to see a counselor to figure out his feelings. It wasn't until 12/08 that we finally started marital counseling. Things were going great. We were reconnecting. We took a weekend away and while he was in the shower, I (for some unknown reason) looked at his text messages. There was a message from the OW. I hit the roof to say the least. The problem is... he still works with this woman. He has had to go out of town with her and other coworkers. He has had drinks with her and other coworkers. He tells me it is over but I feel he stills has more than a business relationship with this woman. The marriage counseling abruptly came to an end when I brought up other issues... excessive drinking and internet porn. The counselor told him he can not continue those behaviors because it displays a self centered attitude. Well, he quit marriage counseling. During this time we have encountered problems with our daughter which has put "us" on the back burner. We have been able to have good times together since the EA. However, it seems as if those times are fewer and farther between. When he is home, he finds something to do...football, fishing shows, golf...he removes himself from conversations. We go to dinner as a family and he talks to our daughter, I talk to our daughter. I know this is long and I am sorry for that. I am just confused. How do I know that he stayed because he is in love with me and not just because we have been married for almost 20years and he doesn't want to hurt me more? How do I trust him when he lies about having drinks with coworkers? He has cut us out of everything. I can no longer talk to our friends because he works with these people. He doesn't like my friends. I am soooo confused. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I don't know anybody that has gone through something like this and feel so alone right now.