Re: how do you know you made the right decision????
In my particular case, I know I made the right choice in staying because I could see the things my H was doing to keep me here. I didn't cook or clean (not much at least) for a month, I hardly took any calls other than from my 1 friend I confided in and I went through the entire playbook of emotions that affairs cause. And he was there. Everytime I cried, he was there. Everytime I was sad, he was there. He has proven to me that he hasn't spoken/emailed/texted or had any communication with her since June 2008. Every password to anything he has I now know, and can check at any point during the day. He will call me every chance he gets to make sure I am doing okay. And since I have found out he has told me "I love you" more times in a day then we have in past years combined. He is making a huge effort to show me he made a horrible decision and that he doesn't want to be defined by it, instead he wants to acknowledge our problems, take responsibility for his actions and ensure me that nothing could ever lead him to do that again.
I honestly don't know how you can do it, with them still working together. I probably would have lost my ever loving mind by now. Hopefully one of the other members can help with this aspect, I don't have any experience in that area. Can he quit and find new work by any chance??