01-11-2010, 11:33 AM
Join Date: Oct 2009
| | Re: marriage councelling?
We did the marriage counseling together and it helped alot. (I had wanted to go to counseling before the A ever happened and my H always flat out refused. After, he was up for doing anything that would show me he was willing to work on making our marriage work.)
We had done alot of talking before and she just helped continue that line of communication. In fact, we had one session left but forgot about it and never scheduled it. (I did through my EAP at work & the counselor thought we only needed a few sessions - we went twice but was approved for 3.)
I do really think it helps. My H was fearful that it would be an attack on him but was relieved when it wasn't. I can say, hopefully, we never get to that place again BUT if we do, we would both be open to counseling.
I think it didn't necessarily solved everything, but gave you tools on how to communicate and discuss with each toher. We use that now. In fact, my H, on several occasions, has done something that the counselor had discussed. When I get in one of my moods, for whatever reason, before that would end up with me transferring to my H and add to the anger and resentment even if it was the kids who initially got me going. NOW, when my H sees that's what's happening, he doesn't say a word just walks up and hugs me. And first my intial reaction is to push away but I realize and just soak in the hug/affection. I know by listening to him/counselor talk - that's how they came up with him able to help. There is nothing he can really do or say, but by hugging me it shows he is recognizing where I am at and would help if he could. Things like that.