Coping

I am the one trying to come to terms with his infidelity. I have gone to my first therapy session and the second one is coming up this weekend.

I would like to know what your opinons or comments are on the following:

Should I be seeing a male therapist or a female therapist? Does it make a difference either way?
If so, why and how?

Thank you.

swedish

The most important thing is that you are comfortable talking open with him/her. Personally, I would have trouble doing that with a man, so I saw a woman because it was easier for me to open up with her and felt she understood me as a woman. But I think either can be effective, just personal preference on my part.

Coping

Thank you for your response.

The therapist that I saw is a man. I did not have a problem opening up to him, I was fine expressing exactly what was on my mind.

My thing is just like you said "you felt that she understood you as a woman".

I guess the reason for my questioning it is because something was said in there that day and the therapist replied with something to the effect (I can not recall his exact words) "that's the way men think" or "men don't think that way". It was one of the two and it just made me wonder if it was a "professional" comment or a "we men stick together" comment.

swedish

That's a valid point you make. In my first meeting mine made a comment like "Well, we know how men are" and I was taken aback as it wasn't meant to be a stereotype or generalization. She could tell by the look on my face that I was surprised at the comment and going forward didn't do that again, but they are all human too I guess and will have their own opinions, man or woman.

Coping

So, in your opinion, do you think that I should let the comment go or look into seeing a female?

swedish

In my opinion, I would let it go based on that comment alone. I do think there are some basic differences between the way men and women think but if it makes you uncomfortable, keep looking or if it happens again, ask him to explain what he meant so you know for sure if it's on the up and up in your mind.

Liza

Personally it wouldn't really matter whether it's male or female to me. Just focus on getting over the problem, a male is able to give you insight on how males think.