Am I crazy
I have been married alomst 25 years. She is leaving me or is at least trying to get mentally healthy. She has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and Depression and Paranoia.
We met in April 1985, married july 1985 Me - 21 Her - 20. She got pregnant the same month we got married. She miscarried the next month. Two month later she went out of town and had an affair - one night stand. She came home and confessed the next day. If this wasnt bad enough my parents were divorced in 1968 due to my mom's infidelity and my dad got custody so you know it was bad back then. My new step-mom was a step monster. I told her before we were married that infidelty would be the worst thing that she could ever do to me.
We were in the Army then stationed in Nurnberg, Germany. I had just re-enlisted and extended so we could stay together.
I was devasted. I couldnt even believe it, I was crushed. I thought that I had set decent boundries and it was immediately crossed. After some serious soul searching I stayed.
We then moved to Washington, DC, she started a new job. She became good friends with another guy, which by now is an extremely difficult situation for me. I tried to deal but was too tough. This guys wife came to my house and told me that her husband and my wife were having an affair. Of course they were confronted and made a believe that their was nothing going on.
We then moved to North Carolina. She became best friends with a woman who was basically married and living with a guy. This woman was so sexual that she was cheating on her guy with almost every swinging **** at their work. This girl wanted to have a three way with us. This girl started swinging with other people. My wife fell right into best friends status almost immediately. (Birds of a feather??)
We then moved to Ohio. We were playing cards with my cousin and her husband. I caught them playing footsie under the table while we were playing cards. She said he was touching her not the other was around. A couple of years later my cousin and her husband divorced and then heard through the grapevine that her husband and my wife did have an affair.
We then moved to Mississippi. She met the newly single guy that moved in accross the street. He was very personable, really good looking, and a partier. She would hang out with him all the time, meet him at bar/resteraunts ocassionally and at his place to help him clean and sit around and drink. I was then assigned to Texas. I had to go ahead of my family. After I left she decided that she and kids were not coming. She thought she may be in love with this guy. She eventually did come.
I got a BJ from the receptionist while in Mississippi. I didnt tell her. Worst mistake ever.
We then lived in Texas. There were no men around that I ever knew about. Although the computer was burning up every night some nights all night when she would chat all the time.
We moved to Indiana. She learned about my affair. She then got a new job and it was in sales in Michigan. She worked many many hours working a hour away from home. The men were hot sales guys. She and I would hang out with these people so I assumed that the guys would not screw me over. I didnt trust them, but had no way of knowing.
She then was diagnosed with Graves Desease. (The thyroid pumps out so many extra chemicals that your brain and body cant handle it. This is when we/I started really noticing the paranoia kicking in hard. She accussed me of cheating almost daily. She thought every time I walked out the door to play golf or even go to work she would think I was cheating.
Our daughter was 17 by now and had a 18 yr old boyfriend. My daughter, wife, daughters boyfriend, daughters boyfriends mother and boyfriends best friend went out of town together for an event. My daughter caught her mother naked in her room with her boyfriends best friend. Who was 18?? Of course my daughter was told that her dad was out messing around and her mom was just doing it to. She believed her Mom even though it wasnt true. Our daughter lived with this secret.
We then moved to Columbus, Ohio. By now the graves desease was soooo bad and the paranoia was out of control. My wife and I then got into a serious cocaine habit for an entire summer. She has sex with two more of our daughters friends 18 or 19 years old.
My wife then tries to committ suicide. My daughter tells me the same day that this happens about all the affairs that she had been hiding. I of course try to keep everything with my family. This is when she got diagnose with the paranoid schizophrenia and possible bi-polar issues. She gets out of the hospital and she then tells me that I either need to let her go or find a way to get past this. Of course all I see is my son and daughter and this mental desease and how is everything going to be taken care of. I of course stay.
Two years later my wife comes home from working out of town the past five months with her job. Five days a week she is in Findlay Ohio and then come home on the weekends. She is with 2 guys and 2 girls. She becomes huge friends with the 2 divorced people while there. There both not remarried yet, but supposedly in committed relationships. She then comes home on Thanksgiving and tells me that she doesnt love me anymore and wants a divorce. My daughter has by now moved out and my 17 year old son get pissed off and tells her she needs to come home and have things to go back to normal.
She then tries to kill herself the wednesday before Christmas again this year. She called the guy she has been spending the time with when she tried to slit her wrists (DEEP) so she wouldnt die alone. She is then diagnosed with depression and the physic doc says he doesnt believe that she didnt have paranoia or schizophrenia. She got out of the hospital and of course she wants a divorce and moved out to live with her girlfriend, but have no idea my son and I have no real idea where she lives.
I believe that she has had a mental issue her entire life. Her Mom and Dad believe that as well.
Is there anybody out there think that I got to be the stupidest guy on the planet. I still love her today and would like her to come home and we work on getting mentally healthy together. She doesnt want to. I cant seem to let her go.
Tell me what you think.