Why do you think for even a second that she's not going to demand and fight for everything, regardless of you exposing or not?
Almost every guy who thinks he's going to be nice and get a good deal finds out that not only is their wife cheating, but she also feels entitled to the kids , spousal support, the house, and half the money.
Carlton played this game just like you, and it didn't give him any advantage at the table - his wife still demanded everything and the kids.
Right now she feels strong and supported bupy her OM. Someone who feels strong and confident is always bad to negotiate with.
Btw, attorneys often advise against exposure etc, not because it makes their clients case stronger, but because it makes the lawyers job easier to do without fighting and drama. They just want a fast clean legal process, whereas you might have other goals.
I agree with Shaggy unless you can find a way to make the divorce go as quickly as possible.
Can't think of any guy who has come here whose wife has cheated and was able to get the wife to not
eventually wind up trying to take them for whatever they could as far as custody, alimony, the house, and child support are concerned.
Many are just selfish, entitled, and listen to the advice of their lawyers who have their client's and their own best interest at heart.
I can't recall too many situations on TAM where the male BS exposed the female WS and that somehow caused them to lose anymore in the divorce than they would have by not exposing and trying to be amicable in the hopes that the WS and their lawyer will be "fair". Actually I can't recall any.