Best way to divorce my wife... - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

User Tag List

 2011Likes
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #46 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 04:43 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 2,815
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by michzz View Post
Divorce, yes. Expose before final?

NO!

You will have to pay more alimony if she is out of work.

The court will not care why she is out of work in deciding support levels.
This information, like most given, is state dependent. SOme will look at the reason she is without work (and if terminated for reasons of adultery, work place affairs, or some criminal offenses) and decide the separation of incomes and base hers upon her earning power.

Squeakr is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #47 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 04:47 PM
Member
 
tom67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 10,667
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Find out specifics on money issues from your attorney asap then we can give you more appropiate info likewise.
tom67 is offline  
post #48 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 04:48 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 2,815
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Also keep in mind that usually when they agree to an amicable divorce with wanting little from you, they don't have the lawyer secured yet. Lawyers jobs are to protect the interests of their clients the best they can and several will become ruthless in divorce to avoid being hauled back into court for not doing their job to the best of their abilities (so even though the WS doesn't want to play nasty sometimes they are pushed into it by their lawyers whom are just doing their job to the best of their abilities and when they see the $$$ they play along).
Squeakr is offline  
 
post #49 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 04:53 PM
Member
 
tom67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 10,667
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeakr View Post
Also keep in mind that usually when they agree to an amicable divorce with wanting little from you, they don't have the lawyer secured yet. Lawyers jobs are to protect the interests of their clients the best they can and several will become ruthless in divorce to avoid being hauled back into court for not doing their job to the best of their abilities (so even though the WS doesn't want to play nasty sometimes they are pushed into it by their lawyers whom are just doing their job to the best of their abilities and when they see the $$$ they play along).
Yea billable hours watch it!
tom67 is offline  
post #50 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 04:56 PM
Member
 
I'mInLoveWithMyHubby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,890
Best way to divorce my wife...

If you can, try to talk to the bosses wife. She really deserves to know as much as you do.

I'm sorry what happened. You are handling this very well.
I'mInLoveWithMyHubby is offline  
post #51 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 05:02 PM
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,843
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by tom67 View Post
One thing is for sure her lover/boss will be shyting in his pants when she get's served at work.
I would certainly do this.
workindad is offline  
post #52 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 05:05 PM
Member
 
Jasel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,479
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaggy View Post
Why do you think for even a second that she's not going to demand and fight for everything, regardless of you exposing or not?

Almost every guy who thinks he's going to be nice and get a good deal finds out that not only is their wife cheating, but she also feels entitled to the kids , spousal support, the house, and half the money.

Carlton played this game just like you, and it didn't give him any advantage at the table - his wife still demanded everything and the kids.

Right now she feels strong and supported bupy her OM. Someone who feels strong and confident is always bad to negotiate with.

Btw, attorneys often advise against exposure etc, not because it makes their clients case stronger, but because it makes the lawyers job easier to do without fighting and drama. They just want a fast clean legal process, whereas you might have other goals.
I agree with Shaggy unless you can find a way to make the divorce go as quickly as possible.

Can't think of any guy who has come here whose wife has cheated and was able to get the wife to not eventually wind up trying to take them for whatever they could as far as custody, alimony, the house, and child support are concerned.

Many are just selfish, entitled, and listen to the advice of their lawyers who have their client's and their own best interest at heart.

I can't recall too many situations on TAM where the male BS exposed the female WS and that somehow caused them to lose anymore in the divorce than they would have by not exposing and trying to be amicable in the hopes that the WS and their lawyer will be "fair". Actually I can't recall any.

"The one who is most willing to walk away from the relationship, is the one who controls the relationship."
Jasel is offline  
post #53 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 05:16 PM
Member
 
tom67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 10,667
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasel View Post
I agree with Shaggy unless you can find a way to make the divorce go as quickly as possible.

Can't think of any guy who has come here whose wife has cheated and was able to get the wife to not eventually wind up trying to take them for whatever they could as far as custody, alimony, the house, and child support are concerned.

Many are just selfish, entitled, and listen to the advice of their lawyers who have their client's and their own best interest at heart.

I can't recall too many situations on TAM where the male BS exposed the female WS and that somehow caused them to lose anymore in the divorce than they would have by not exposing and trying to be amicable in the hopes that the WS and their lawyer will be "fair". Actually I can't recall any.
I can't either.
Posted via Mobile Device
tom67 is offline  
post #54 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 05:36 PM
Member
 
weightlifter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: NE US
Posts: 4,130
weightlifter is offline  
post #55 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 06:01 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
BetrayedDad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,949
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by I'mInLoveWithMyHubby View Post
I'm sorry what happened. You are handling this very well.
I've been talking to friends nonstop about it. That seems to help with the nausea. I've lost 10 pounds in a few days and have no appetite... It's waiting until next week to break it to her that's killing me. I want to do it now badly but I think doing it in a controlled setting on MY terms is best for everyone.

BetrayedDad is offline  
post #56 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 06:09 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Canukistan
Posts: 2,189
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by BetrayedDad View Post
I'm convinced sooner or later the boss is going to dump my wife anyway. This is not the first subordinate he has hooked up with. My wife has also had an EA in the past so as much as I don't really want to do this, why reconcile? I can't be in a marriage where I don't trust the person and if it wasn't him, it will probably be someone else.
I would certainly divorce her. That's a tough pickle to be in in terms of having to ***** foot because of potential custody/money issues. That part you will have to decide if you can play the nice guy until you get a settlement signed that you can live with. Once that's done, expose and decimate. It's rough though because this POSom's wife is in the dark and needs to know.

Either way I'm glad to hear you are ending it.
Healer is offline  
post #57 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 06:12 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Canukistan
Posts: 2,189
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Are you in a no fault state?
Healer is offline  
post #58 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 06:18 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
BetrayedDad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,949
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Healer View Post
Are you in a no fault state?
Yup and Equitable Distribution State as well if that helps.
BetrayedDad is offline  
post #59 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 06:26 PM
Member
 
tom67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 10,667
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by BetrayedDad View Post
Yup and Equitable Distribution State as well if that helps.
Well that's pretty cut and dry. Maybe being shocked out of lala land she might straighten out but how could you trust her ick! Carry a var on you after she is served so you don't get a false dv charge on you.
tom67 is offline  
post #60 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 06:51 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Kings County
Posts: 367
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by BetrayedDad View Post
Yup and Equitable Distribution State as well if that helps.
Are you in NY?
Broken_in_Brooklyn is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Help Please - I want to divorce my wife LC666 Going Through Divorce or Separation 2 07-12-2013 07:15 AM
should I divorce my wife? seeking help Coping with Infidelity 17 01-17-2011 12:41 AM
Wife wants divorce.:( Trueman Considering Divorce or Separation 25 12-18-2010 02:13 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome