Best way to divorce my wife... - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
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post #61 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 08:45 PM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Listen to your lawyer

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post #62 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 09:15 PM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

These are tough times brother...I recommend you go to your favorite resturant, get your favorite meal that you don't mind eating cold so getit to go.
It helped me eat as I took small bights thru out the day.

Also, every time this crap enters your mind, tell your self " I diserve good things" every time I would start tripping about my old lady screwing around a repeated to my self "I diserve good things"

Dude, you must force this crap out of your head so you can, function.... this sh!t eats at you all phucking day...so again when this evil crap enters your head tell those bad thoughts that you " deserve good things"

Back in the day (3 yrs ago) every second of the day I would tell my self " I diserve good things" a million times a day my old lady phucking around was always popping up in my head.

I hope this helps you get through the first few months...cuz those are the toughest. In time the crap your chick did will level off..

So don't let it define you...this is her cross to bear not yours.

The best thing you can do is show her how confident you are and never let her see you cry. Smile and wish her the best cuz your STBXW has defined her self!

Stay strong and never beg...thank her for the get out of jail free card and again wish her the best....no matter how hard it is she has to see that you are looking at this as a fovor from her.

So at the end of the day brother, fake it until you make it....you will make it!
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post #63 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 10:10 PM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by tom67 View Post
Carry a var on you after she is served so you don't get a false dv charge on you.
That and get any admission about the affair.

The voice activated recorder (VAR) should be your best friend.

See your old lady is going to flip the phuck out once your take her perfect life away. She is going to be pissed that she can no longer have what she wants.

She has it made and now/soon you will be a very big thorn in her life.

She will not like her new reality and her 1st reaction might be that she is sorry but once she sees you ain't playing her game she will be angry.

It happens alot, once the WW doesn"t have the blind husband that she can betray she gets angry that she can't have her way any more.

As stupid as it is whatch out for a women scorned. You are about to take her lover away and she ain't going to like that...then top it off with dumping her...well there is no telling!!!!!

Keep the VAR on you!!!!
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post #64 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 10:25 PM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

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That and get any admission about the affair.

The voice activated recorder (VAR) should be your best friend.

See your old lady is going to flip the phuck out once your take her perfect life away. She is going to be pissed that she can no longer have what she wants.

She has it made and now/soon you will be a very big thorn in her life.

She will not like her new reality and her 1st reaction might be that she is sorry but once she sees you ain't playing her game she will be angry.

It happens alot, once the WW doesn"t have the blind husband that she can betray she gets angry that she can't have her way any more.

As stupid as it is whatch out for a women scorned. You are about to take her lover away and she ain't going to like that...then top it off with dumping her...well there is no telling!!!!!

Keep the VAR on you!!!!
And if he has herpes like you said earlier you have to let the omw know this is a health risk to her let alone the right thing to do and you will feel so empowered after. Take care.
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post #65 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 11:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

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The voice activated recorder (VAR) should be your best friend.
I looked into this and I appear to live in a state that requires both parties consent. So any recording I make would be inadmissible anyway (and I don't want any legal troubles.)
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post #66 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 11:09 PM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

It's not illegal if the sole intent is to protect yourself from trumped up DV charges. We're not talking about admissible court evidence here, we're talking about self preservation and protection from what SO many of us have seen way too many times before.

Get a VAR.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. -Mark Twain

For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech. -Proverbs 5:3

Last edited by 3putt; 08-08-2013 at 11:24 PM.
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post #67 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 11:10 PM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by BetrayedDad View Post
I looked into this and I appear to live in a state that requires both parties consent. So any recording I make would be inadmissible anyway (and I don't want any legal troubles.)
You aren't using it for court, you are using it so the police officer listens to the truth and doesn't arrest you. I would be shocked if anything happened you are trying to protect yourself because a dv charge is serious shyt just my opinion.
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post #68 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 11:12 PM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

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Originally Posted by BetrayedDad View Post
I recently found out my wife has been sleeping with her boss (how cliche) for the last six months. She doesn't know I know yet but she suspects something is wrong. (I'm not a pathelogical liar like she is and can't hide my emotions as well.)

My attorney basically told me it would be in my best interest, and in getting joint custody of my children, to do this as civilized as possible. He told me to wait until the next marriage counselling session, which is a week from now and announce it to her then.

The boss is married so I really want to tell his wife (who just had a baby not long ago mind you) but I'm hesitant now because it will only piss her off and drag this out longer than it needs to be. He said if I decide to make this ugly from the get go then it will cost me big down the road.

Suggestions? If I report them to the bosses wife and their HR dept will it be worth the blowback of a custody and house battle over a short term revenge gratification on my part? It's killing me trying to be the bigger person when I was being treated like a jerk for so long.
I have not read any of the responses so if this is not in keeping with the progression of the thread, I apologize.

Let me sum it up this way:

Honest is the best policy.

Always.

Tell your wife, tell HR, tell the boss's wife as is appropriate and let the chips fall where they may. Try to do so in some sort of scripted way or who to tell when... and you just make a mess of your cleverness.

Tell them. Right between the eyes. Be direct and honest.
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post #69 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 11:18 PM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

A typed letter to other man's wife:

Dear OMW,

I work with your husband and also with a woman named YourWifeName. They are having an affair. I feel you have the right to know. I'm sorry I can't sign my name, but I don't want repercussions at work. I saw them at XYZ hotel together on DATE and I have witnessed inappropriate behavior at work.

Anonymous
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post #70 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 11:29 PM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

When there is infidelity, it seems like most of the time it gets nasty anyway, even if the betrayed tries to keep it civil and doesn't expose. It has a way of blowing up.

Cheater doesn't want divorce, she wants you and him. She doesn't want to be known as a cheater, so as soon as she knows that you know, she may start demonizing you to all others to justify her cheating. She may already be doing so to justify it to herself or as a preparation for divorcing you. Hard to stay civil under those circumstances.

If you want to keep it civil, don't tell her you know she's cheating. Just tell her you want out, it's not working out for you, you just grew apart, you're going in different directions, you no longer have anything in common, there's no spark between you anymore, you don't feel a "love connection" like you used to, you haven't been happy for a long time, you feel like only roommates, you just don't feel any passion anymore, you think that you both would be better off apart, you can always remain friends and co-parent the kids, and you've decided to seek divorce. You can still out her to other man's wife anonymously as a work colleague so your wife won't know it was you. You can tell her you knew about the cheating AFTER the divorce is finalized, at which time you can tell her how bad you played her to get a favorable settlement if you want to.

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post #71 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 11:30 PM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

How long was she cheating on you ?
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post #72 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 11:31 PM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

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Originally Posted by BetrayedDad View Post
She's the mother and is considered the nurturing parent so I'd have to file an emergency injuction and it will get ugly fast. .


This is about the biggest crock of dung that there is. When I read on this site about men who are being cheated on and they are frozen in fear because they do not want to get the short end of the custody stick it makes me want to scream with a bull horn from the Empire State Building observation deck.

Ask my two girls who the more nurturing parent is and I guarantee they will not even blink before they say it is me. This is a double standard that feminism seems to overlook. One of many.

OP keep your head and wait for the revenge after the deal is in place. Then you can turn into a giant douche canoe.
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post #73 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 11:55 PM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

This gets argued here every month or two. So far not one man has come to the conclusion waiting to expose was worth or worked at all. Up to now the betrayed spouse that doesn't jump on the affair partners with both feet, just seem to deflate and slink away sooner than later.

On the flip side, I can't remember any one being sorry they exposed. As a matter of fact, exposure seems to under cut the affair partners and takes the pompous wind out of their sails as everyone looks at them as they really are.

What many are recommending is that you don't stand up for yourself or your family but cant give any example of that working.

Its the equivalent of just handing over your wife to the om's harem and patting him on the back.

Go big or go home.
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post #74 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-08-2013, 11:58 PM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

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Originally Posted by Chaparral View Post
This gets argued here every month or two. So far not one man has come to the conclusion waiting to expose was worth or worked at all. Up to now the betrayed spouse that doesn't jump on the affair partners with both feet, just seem to deflate and slink away sooner than later.

On the flip side, I can't remember any one being sorry they exposed. As a matter of fact, exposure seems to under cut the affair partners and takes the pompous wind out of their sails as everyone looks at them as they really are.

What many are recommending is that you don't stand up for yourself or your family but cant give any example of that working.

Its the equivalent of just handing over your wife to the om's harem and patting him on the back.

Go big or go home.
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post #75 of 1161 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 12:04 AM
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Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Btw, why would you waste money on another mg session?

Just have the papers drawn up, name the boss as corespondent, and have her served at work.

The best defense is a good offense. She already has lost respect for you, why do you think being nice is going to change that. It hasn't worked so far.
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