Best way to divorce my wife... - Page 8 - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

User Tag List

 2011Likes
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #106 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 04:09 PM
Member
 
tom67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 10,667
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

If you can scan all your proof onto a computer and transfer everything to a flash drive they are dirt cheap now. Maybe even 2 to be safe.

tom67 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #107 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 04:11 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Kings County
Posts: 367
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by tom67 View Post
If you can scan all your proof onto a computer and transfer everything to a flash drive they are dirt cheap now. Maybe even 2 to be safe.
Very good point. No telling how she will react. Might wanna stash certain valuables.
Broken_in_Brooklyn is offline  
post #108 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 04:35 PM
Member
 
tom67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 10,667
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

If your lawyer specifically told you point blank that you will have to pay a lot more if she loses her job then don't expose. But if the judge looks at her earning power and until recently was working, I think that has a big bearing that she wasn't along term sahm. Personally I would at least inform the omw when you file but that is a big decision and only yours.
tom67 is offline  
 
post #109 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 04:48 PM
Member
 
tom67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 10,667
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Just do me a favor and read multiple threads where the bs gets screwed because they didn't expose. I say this with no disrespect they tell newbies in AA this. "You are not alone and you're not special" In other words don't think "Oh she won't do that to me?"
tom67 is offline  
post #110 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 05:56 PM
Member
 
Chaparral's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 11,478
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by livinfree View Post
My attorney was a female (a great suggestion from a friend who went through this) i filed first and drive the show. My attorney was extremely thorough and very good at offense.

Never underestimate the power of keeping a journal about you and your children's activities. The moment I produced a detailed journal to my attorney she called opposing counsel and we had a deal the same day after two months of squabbling.
Keep a record of your wife's exploits also. Try and make your own timeline and the amt of time she has been away from her kids when she was playing with the posom.

Imho it is cruel to keep this info from the omw. You have to live with this call forever. Not telling her is also lying by omission.
Chaparral is offline  
post #111 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 07:13 PM
Member
 
Thor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 8,671
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaparral View Post
Imho it is cruel to keep this info from the omw. You have to live with this call forever. Not telling her is also lying by omission.
I agree. But, I think the OP has a higher duty to his own family than to OM/OMW's family. If it is to his benefit to hold off on exposure until the D is finalized then he would be within his moral rights imo to wait. If there is no downside to exposing today, he should do it today.
Thor is offline  
post #112 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 08:06 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,149
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by tom67 View Post
Eric is a perfect example of not exposing and still had to pay and the om gets promoted and moves away. That was sad!
Without exposing that the WW is banging the OM. The BH will get bent over by the WW in court.

And the OM will get away with everything.
theroad is offline  
post #113 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 08:10 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,149
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by harrybrown View Post
I would listen to my attorney and later take care of both of them with HR. How did you catch her?
Now is the time for exposure. Once the couple is divorced the Business is not going to care about what an XH has to say about his XW.
theroad is offline  
post #114 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 08:11 PM
Member
 
tom67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 10,667
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by theroad View Post
Now is the time for exposure. Once the couple is divorced the Business is not going to care about what an XH has to say about his XW.
Your wife and om did this not you just remember.
tom67 is offline  
post #115 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 08:16 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
BetrayedDad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,949
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by theroad View Post
Now is the time for exposure. Once the couple is divorced the Business is not going to care about what an XH has to say about his XW.
Not necessarily... the boss is still banging a subordinate who he supervises, gives performance reviews to etc. I don't know many businesses that condone that. Plus if I expose now, I feel like it just exposes me to the risk of having to pay alimony to support her newfound joblessness.

BetrayedDad is offline  
post #116 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 08:28 PM
Member
 
tom67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 10,667
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by BetrayedDad View Post
Not necessarily... the boss is still banging a subordinate who he supervises, gives performance reviews to etc. I don't know many businesses that condone that. Plus if I expose now, I feel like it just exposes me to the risk of having to pay alimony to support her newfound joblessness.
She hasn't been a sahm she has been working right? Judges consider this but I'll stop wasting my time good luck whatever I guess you're afraid sorry.
tom67 is offline  
post #117 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 08:31 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,149
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Exposure is not for revenge after the divorce. Exposure is a tool to kill an affair.

Revenge, and the being happy feeling that the BS gets from exposing the WS and the AP is a side effect, not the reason for exposure.

To expose after the divorce is pointless because there is no longer a marriage to save.
theroad is offline  
post #118 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 08:40 PM
Forum Supporter
 
3putt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Myrtle Beach
Posts: 3,753
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by theroad View Post
Exposure is not for revenge after the divorce. Exposure is a tool to kill an affair.

Revenge, and the being happy feeling that the BS gets from exposing the WS and the AP is a side effect, not the reason for exposure.

To expose after the divorce is pointless because there is no longer a marriage to save.
TheRoad, he has no intentions of saving his marriage. He wants out on the best terms possible for him as he's been down this road before.

I think I inadvertently hit the like button on a post that contradicts what I'm saying now, but I'm in the camp that he should play his cards pretty close to the vest until he has a signed agreement from her.....and hopefully before the gavel drops and papers are signed.

Then nuke the living fvck out of it.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. -Mark Twain

For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech. -Proverbs 5:3
3putt is offline  
post #119 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 10:30 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 9,954
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Divorce is a negotiation.

Never negotiate with a person who feels confident and in control because they will feel they have the upper stronger hand, they have options, and they have time and power to drag things out.

Instead, what you want is someone that is desperate to settle, to get a deal and to move on, you want them unhappy, and frankly emotional , because emotional people rush and make mistakes.

This is why I favor nuclear exposure especially when it's at work.

Poor Eric went through all this same logic , even though I tried my best to persuade him otherwise. He didn't expose his wife or her boss that she was banging. No he's still paying through the nose, the ass boss got a nice big promotion, etc. he got left holding the bag while his cheating wife and her boss got away with it.

Edit to add:

Destroy the other army, then ask for surrender. It never works the other way around.
Shaggy is offline  
post #120 of 1162 (permalink) Old 08-09-2013, 11:34 PM
JCD
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 4,323
Re: Best way to divorce my wife...

Quote:
Originally Posted by tom67 View Post
And if he has herpes like you said earlier you have to let the omw know this is a health risk to her let alone the right thing to do and you will feel so empowered after. Take care.
Exactly!

Are you willing to let the some innocent wife get herpes because you want to score a few extra dollars?

How much money would you take to be infected with herpes?
JCD is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Help Please - I want to divorce my wife LC666 Going Through Divorce or Separation 2 07-12-2013 07:15 AM
should I divorce my wife? seeking help Coping with Infidelity 17 01-17-2011 12:41 AM
Wife wants divorce.:( Trueman Considering Divorce or Separation 25 12-18-2010 02:13 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome