I am 100% certain I WILL tell the OMW eventually.
It's just a matter of when and as disappointing as it is to wait until after the settlement, it's the strongest card I have to get her to agree to a quick divorce.
Now if she does something stupid like lawyer up then I'll nuke without hesitation...
My other concern is she will deny until I prove to her I know. I don't want to tell her how I found out but hopefully if I throw her a few crumbles, and mention a few details that I couldn't possibly know otherwise, she'll cave and confess.
I'm not walking out of the MC without a confession...
Blink blink. You SERIOUSLY think she isn't going to lawyer up?
You: "If you don't do exactly what I say, I'm going to expose the affair."
Her Version 1: "Expose away! It will break up his marriage and he can be with me."
Her Version 2: "So? I still don't love you and it won't change anything."
Her Version 3: "If you do, I'm going to go to a random state with a different name. I can pack our bags in 30 minutes. How fast can you get a judge and an injunction ready AND FIND ME?"
Her Version 4: "If you expose, then (incredibly embarrassing personal thing) will also be exposed."
Her Version 5: "So I'll get more of your money in the end if you do that. Do you WANT to shatter some innocent woman's life and make HER baby ALSO suffer the tribulations of divorce?"
I am pro exposure. Do not expose because you want a nicer slice of money. It won't happen. Don't expect she'll stay nice. Don't think you won't regret not exposing (and if you expose, don't think you won't regret doing THAT either).
Expose for your own reasons. You can't guess what she will do in any case. People are funny that way.