Originally Posted by strugglinghusband View Post
how can i verify, wife has to work with e/a partner and they work together on a daily basis, jobs over lap...in m/c 6 sessions in and we both agree this lady m/c is not for us, im also in i/c
i suggested that we find a diff m/c, wife replied with that we would have to start all over, i said so what we start over, on the 1st session the m/c asked why we were they and the wife told her that were there because that I'm jealous of close friendship she has with a male coworker (hes married 1 kid)and i said No! its an e/a,I know what one is i had 1 ten yrs ago...and that was the only time it was brought up in m/c..
.she had been secretly emailing him (ihacked her email) i had intercepted 1 with her saying "Miss you and cant wait to see you! and then confronted her (this was sept 21st) she said it was an e/a (her words not mine)
she had emtionaly and physcial started withdrawing from me about 10 months ago...on tje way home from m/c the other night,i said that i had read that most women who emtionaly detache typicaly dont come back and she said that the has emtionaly detached from herself aswell and dosent know who really is.
WTH does that mean???
I contacted him via email and then via phone because
i had idea that it was also physical (turns out i was wrong) he admitted nothing (whcich i knew he wouldnt) but told him that going to his wife and thier boss with what I have would be the least of his worries and him and i are going to have a long coversation someday and he wont like what I say and how i say it. my i/c said that he probaly went like a turtle sticking his head back in, thinking holy ****! this guy may tell my wife and my boss(one or both would more than liky get canned and my wife even said that) and kick my ass
HOW CAN I VERFIFY? she goes into wotk later,used to go in really early, she agreed to have work only contact, never be alone with him at work, her leaving her job iis really not an option...I'm still very supcious, I want to belive her but at this point no way...she knows i hijacked from home computer, so she would never use it again for anything like that..I hate feeling like this
Prior to my affair I was already "emotionally detaching" from my husband, that's why it was so easy to engage in it. I had a lot of resentment towards him for many things that had ocured in our marriage. However, it was not the reason I chose to have the affair, just made it easy to justify it.
During the affair, I was not myself at all, hubby even still reminds me that I'm not the same person, until very recently. I had never done such a degrading thing in my life prior to the affair, I thought I was a good person, dedicating my life to helping others. I still don't know why I really did what I did, but I'll say one thing, since exposing the affair to OM's wife, hubby has noticed a dramatic change in my behavior, and even my tone of voice. He told me he feels like he finally has his old wife back. I think that the fact that I was finally on board with exposing, it actually felt empowering to both of us, and that I may have still be protecting OM in some sort of way. So it was a way for both of us to let go, and begin to repair our marriage.
I hope this makes sense.