02-02-2010, 01:28 AM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: United States
| | Re: Need some help with wife having a second affair
Is she financially dependent on you?
If she is she has a motive/maybe a strong motive to be less than honest about how she feels. If she is NOT then maybe this can work. Why did you sweep the first one under the rug? Were you that intimidated by her? Seriously - no one does that unless they are really afraid of their spouse/emotionally overpowered by them.
Originally Posted by needhelp123
My wife had an affair on me 9 years ago and another 1 1/2 years ago. I just found out about the this last affair. The first time she had an affair we never discussed it. We pushed it under the carpet and I surpressed my feelings of hurt, betrayal and anger. 1 year 1/2 ago she a a second affair. At first she denied it but I kept asking her and persisting she tell me the truth. After several months she admitted to the second affair. I feel so much pain and not sure if I can ever trust her again. Over the last nine years I will admit that we lost the emotional connection in our marraige. I've been seperated from her for three months but I can't seem to pull away from her. We both still love each other. We've been having marital relations even though we are seperated and we seem to have gotten our emotional connection back. Our bond to each other feels so much stronger than it has ever been. However, there is still a peice of me that says this is not right. My head is telling me to run but my heart is telling me to stay. She takes full blame for the affair and admits her mistakes. She tells me she wants this marraige to work and would like to go to marriage marraige counceling. She's been wonderful during the last three months. she's giving me all her email and voicemail passwords, she's offered to wear a tracking device and she checks in with me and tells me where she is. she wants me to trust her again. How can I get through this? Will I ever trust her again? I'm not sure I should give her another chance because I feel she will only hurt me again. I want to start over with a clean slate. I'd like to start over with her but don't know how. How can I get through this?