horserider42

Should I feel guilty about an incident that happended with a sort of ex.

We met up for lunch and drinks after not seeing each other for 3 years. He lives in another city but we would maintain casual contact over the years. There has always been a connection between us and I knew this going into our recent meeting. I intially tried to keep the meeting very light - requesting a Sat afternoon catch up. As the time passed, we were having fun reminising and decided to go for a drink. That one drink reduced my inhibitions and decided that we could spend the rest of the evening/night together. Nothing happened physically, but there was alot of talk about when we were together and he stated that I was the biggest regret of his life. Although I never told him to stop, he did mention that he respects my marriage and he "wasn't going to do this", but he kept talking in these tones. In the end, we said our goodbyes and he is home and I have resumed life. I feel like I betrayed my husband for not stopping this kind of talk and for actually being excited by it and participating in it. I did not say at any point that I would leave my husband nor that we could be together, but I did actively discuss what went wrong with our "relationship". This lead to him being more upset and I think I actually felt a little good about the fact that he saw what he lost. I have made a decision to never see this old friend again as it is too tempting. How should I handle this guilt feeling that I have not respected my husband and in fact have been untruthful by omision.

Amplexor

Don’t feel guilty and chalk it up to closure on that relationship. Since there may be temptation in the future, discontinue all contact with him and continue to love and respect your husband. You didn't do anything wrong so there is nothing to confess.

__________________
Amp

Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.

"Some of the greatest lessons life has taught me came from my darkest days in it" -Amp

GAsoccerman

you have no need to feel guilty, at least you are civil to each other. Plus he respected you and your hubby.

He is apparently a decent person. I comment you both for not stepping over the boundry.

But make sure your hubby knows that everything is cool. Do they get along at all? Maybe you all can be friends.

CantThinkOfAJUserName

Speaking of boundaries, before you continue your association with this man, please read the late Dr Shirley Glass' book "Not Just Friends" to get an education on boundaries.

Forgive me for being nosy, have you or your husband been a victim of infidelity in the past?

horserider42

We have never been unfaithful in the past. Spoke with H last night about feeling guilty of staying out with ex for so long that night. I stated how I felt it was inappropriate for a married woman to spend evening/night with ex. I tried to have him join us for the evening/night part, but he was too tired. He stated that he was glad that I did b/c he does not want me to feel like I'm in a glass box. Stated that when he was visiting his family, he met up with an old ex also - didn't even tell me b/c he thought it was not relevant.Also stated that he is only partial to information that pertains to him ex. if he is sick and the Dr's won't tell him or if someone is trying to screw him financially,ect...Don't know if this under his definition "screws" him.