Re: Emotional Affair Suspected
There is nothing wrong with looking at her messages or at her FB posts, etc. My view is that if you wouldn't want your spouse to see what you write, then you shouldn't be writing it. EA's are poison, and often start very slowly. If she is defensive about you reading her posts, then isn't that an indication that she wants to hide something?
You don't need to allow the discussion to escalate, and evolve into an arguement about you "invading her privacy." Takes two to fight, so if she starts going down that path, you don't have to go with her. Simply state you understand her annoyance, etc. but that doesn't change the fact that she appears to be communicating inappropriately to the other party.
Good luck with this!