why does he berate the OW now that they aren't together?

BetrayedChris · 02-07-2010, 11:35 PM

Sorry for making a few topics tonight.I guess a few wounds have been reopened after the interaction.My H tells me that the OW was a s**t, a psycho, a homewrecker, tramp,he denied that the baby that she was carrying was his,he told me personal things about her.All that did not make her look like a good person at all.Did he tell her the same stuff?It makes me feel worse that he was with such a person.He said that she is "white trash".I am a successful nurse, a fabulous mother, and hopefully a good person, why would he be with such a person. or is he saying this to pacify me? Sorry for the over posting.

TNgirl232 · 02-07-2010, 11:46 PM

Maybe he's seen through the facade she had when they were together. I look back now at one of the men in my past and he is a sexist ******* who prayed on my vulnerabilty - but at the time...he cared and understood me better than anyone. (so i told myself)

It could also be a way of him trying to show you that he's over her and wouldn't go back.

BetrayedChris · 02-08-2010, 12:00 AM

I am sure that she couldnt put up a facde for a year?How could he be over her just like that? I wonder if he is over her or is he just so angry and betrayed by her because she called and told me of their affair?I wish that I were able to read the minds of others.

MrsInPain · 02-08-2010, 12:07 AM

My husband displayed this behavior too. Be careful. I indicated that I was worried he had cheated on me with his ex and he used to tell me he hated his her, that she was too fat, a b*tch, stupid, helpless, annoying, etc. I came to find out that he was sleeping with her while saying all of this. In fact, literally on the same day he said this, he'd text her asking for a second chance and telling her how attracted to her he was. He even was encouraging me to gain weight. I guess he was more than attracted to her.

Either way, I'd say be careful. He has obviously lied a lot to you before. He might be trying to throw you off.

BetrayedChris · 02-08-2010, 12:20 AM

I have to say that I honestly believe that he is not involved with her anymore.He has repeadealy apologized, begged, pled,cried, and so on. We still go to couseling.But I dont understand while he does this.I wonder if its to make me feel better?It doesnt.

turnera · 02-08-2010, 10:45 AM

He says that because he thinks it's what you want to hear, and he thinks it will put you on HIS side, so you won't be against him and make him deal with what HE did. If you and he are united against her, you (hopefully) will be too busy hating her, to hold him accountable. That's how a guy thinks. Dates back to mom - how to get out of trouble.