Re: To the BS: does it matter how you found out? Confession or Caught
My horrible stbxw left me seemingly out of the blue on my daughter's birthday, then wanted to come back, then didn't, then did...I finally said no, it's over. It wasn't until 4 days later, via text, that I asked her "Ok, be honest with me, I deserve to know, is there another man in your life?".
Her response was priceless:
Her: "I feel like I'm being trapped"
Me: "Come on, be honest. I need to know".
Her: "Does it matter? Really??"
Me: "Yes. Tell me".
Her: "oh God, there was. It was over as soon as it began. Please don't freak out".
Laugh the F*CK out loud. "Does it matter? Really??"
If ever I start to feel any warmth or kindness toward her, I just remember that. And then hating her comes naturally.
As to the question, not really. She spreads for another guy, it's over, no matter what the circumstances.
But what she did was particularly loathsome. Her friend that knew of the affair urged her to tell me, saying I'd wonder what happened and would eventually find out. She refused. Cowardly, horrid beast of a woman. She was just going to let me twist in the wind, wondering wtf happened.
Also, it went on for months and months...it wasn't "over before it began".
Ahhhhh, morning trigger.