mommy22

To those of you who convinced me that fessing up was the thing to do. Thank you. I did last night. Of course he was angry and completely shocked. I had a migraine from all the tears cried and absolutely no sleep last night. However, it turns out he had some pretty serious skeletons of his own. He didn't want to tell me for fear I'd leave him. We realized that we love each other more now than we ever have and have determined that there will be no more secrets!!! He has to keep me informed and I have to do the same. Of course, counseling is a must, but we are determined to see it through. He appreciated my honesty and was sorry he hadn't been honest with me. We're both hurting but I'm so glad our ugly past is behind us. We have to forge ahead together.

CantThinkOfAJUserName

Both of you now have the opportunity to create a happier and healthier marriage. I wish you and your husband the best of luck.

GAsoccerman

Kudo's to you Mommy22, Best of luck in building up the marriage.

True Blue

Mommy22 that took great courage. I wish the best for your both, please keep us posted.

swedish

mommy22,

I'm sure it was a very painful night for both of you but I'm sure a huge weight has been lifted to be able to finally confide in one another. I am so glad to hear you are both committed to working together on your marriage. Starting with being open and honest, and realizing you both love one another is a solid way to do it. I'm sure you will both have ups and downs through this process, but you definitely have what it takes to make your marriage stronger than ever before. My best to you both.

Amplexor

Mommy22

Hey, I am so happy that it looks like this was the right decision. Swedish is right and you will no doubt have a difficult period as the full realization sets in. My best wishes for you both. Build your love and trust in each other and keep us up to date. Bless.

__________________
Amp

Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.

losttrust

Well like every one else here, it took a lot of guts, now on to bigger better things, the healing process has to take place now, so best of luck to both of you

mommy22

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I now have to deal with the shame and guilt of my transgressions. Yesterday, we both went to get tested for STD's, HIV, the whole gamut. Although, I'm quite sure it will come out negative, I can't believe we even had to go through that. For someone who had never slept with anyone but her husband, I'm so ashamed. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we await results and move forward. I have more love and respect for him now than I ever have in my life. I guess I knew I was at a crossroads. I either had to bow out or make it work. I didn't think it was fair to make that decision without him knowing the facts. We couldn't move forward with that kind of baggage. I guess since I've disclosed everything else, and no one here knows who I am, I might as well say that what I found out was that he had a drug problem. He admitted to marijuana, cocaine (his drug of choice), crystal meth-- to name a few. He said he would snort cocaine in the bathroom (while the kids were in his care) while I was mowing grass, in his office bathroom, as he was driving. It's the reason why I was ignored. He has been clean for the last few months, which is why he had been acting better lately. It's hard to believe that he hid it that well for 15 years. It explains why he'd gained weight recently (no longer taking) and why he hasn't been ignoring my needs. He's been doing rehab and I had no clue. So as I say, we have lots to work through-- especially trust issues. He called the other guy today and told him to stay out of my life. He told him that he needed to tell his wife but he wasn't going to make that his business unless he ever tried to contact me again. I'll let you all know when I get back our test results.

sweetp101

Mommy22- I wish you and your husband the best.

mommy22

The test results were negative. I'm very relieved.

draconis

I am happy for you.

draconis

__________________
www.myspace.com/draconis1973

carmaenforcer

I think it's great that you decided to stop cheating on your man and that you fessed up.

I just want you too know that your story just helped me with a bit of a moral conflict I've had about something that I practice in my own relationship.

You see, like your husband, I too have a secret that my wife doesn't know about. I've always believed that since some day I will have to probably hear a confession like the one your husband got myself, that it might not be a bad idea for me to have something to bring to the table as well, when the time finally comes. After all, If we've both been bad she can't get mad and how stupid would I feel if the whole time I was the only one being true to our relationship or the only one telling the truth. It's easier to forgive when you need to ask for forgiveness too, right.

I'm glad to see that my theory is sound, two wrongs do sometimes make a right.

I'm glad to hear that your man is getting help for his substance abuse issues and that your test came back negative.

I truly wish you both the best of luck and a long, happy and healthy rest of your relationship together.

mommy22

Dear Carmaenforcer,

I'm the husband and I appreciate your sympathy.?. Is it that or sarcasm? It's kind of hard to tell... You should know that through the GRACE of GOD that I contacted the enabler (aka "infidelity man") and forgave him. Needless to say I forgave my wife as well. And yes, it's just been revealed to me a few days ago but I had a decision to make and MY heart said 11 years is worth the fight of my life to save. Also, I truly believe that if I had been forthright with my beloved wife this could all have been avoided, so yes I do accept my part of "the blame". Hopefully if you are SERIOUS about your secret (?) you'll go ahead and get it out into the open before it's too late. I regret that I didn't... Unfortunately for this sarcasm I don't see the humor in your reply. And no, I'm not God or a judge I'm just thankful we can live our life together as a HAPPILY married couple. Maybe you can let go of your anger (fear) and let God fill your heart with FAITH....

draconis

Mommy22 ~ Tandum post(ers)?

draconis

__________________
www.myspace.com/draconis1973

carmaenforcer

Yeah draconis I thought that a little weird too but cool if mommy22 don't mind her hubby seeing her posts then why should I.

Hello mommy22's husband, I was being 100% sincere in my post.
In fact I too know about substance abusing and must commend you on your kicking Meth. I have a few family members and some friends that never made it out of the life style and I truly feel for them because of how it has affected their lives. I'm one of those, all is ok, in moderation type people and so see nothing wrong with someone smoking pot from time to time or drinking occasionally but if quiting everything and seeking strength in some sort of higher power works for you, more power to you and SERIOUSLY, I wish you the best of luck with you future and that with your Wife.

It's rare that I have something nice to say, especially towards a cheater, but if you forgave your Wife, what do I care.

It might seem like a strange thing to admit, but I really do believe that my doing stuff behind my Wifes back is going to pay off when I finally find out some of her dirt or when she does me wrong again. I will not feel so much like the victim if I'm just at fault right...