Re: Does anyone else here run into this problem?
MrsInPain, don't confuse his lack of reading the books with not caring. It seems the one cheated on is the one who most often busy/reads these books, articles, etc. Our case is exactly like that. There is no way I could accuse him of not trying or caring to put it back together. But he has yet to read any of it. From time to time, I mention things I read and he always says "print that for me" but he won't go finding it. I think its their coping mechanism since likely he is ashamed. But what other things does he do to help you get through this?
You have to decide #1 is he worth it, do you love him enough to make this work? #2 is he genuinely sorry for what he did and not likely to do it again? #3 if he is then he needs to be completely transparent with you, answer your questions and never ever say "can't you just get over it?" If this is the case, then you may be able to save this. But you are right if it ever happens again, get out girl! You deserve better.
You do sound like a strong and confidant person and that will get you through this. I know what you mean about your BF, I had let my friends drift but during our reconciliation I got closer to them. Unfortunately, it backfired, I should have chosen my friends more wisely. Seems they were interested in gossiping behind my back.
In our case I think the prognosis is good. I've recently come through a very dark period (and there will be some) but he remains supportive no matter what. I figure if we can get through it, many others can too. He cheated for several months, considered leaving me, was mentally abusive, and even flaunted her in front of me. He's not that same person anymore, this was big in my decision to try and make this work.
So how your H is acting, is a big factor in all of this, but he might not read the articles and books but if he is supportive then you have a good chance of pulling through.