Maybe Mustang1968 does?
We haven't heard from him since his 1st post.
Maybe he was getting laid on a regular bases and keep the house clean and gave a good BJ....maybe things were good in all this time...maybe she was a good friend...hell maybe he was a wife beater.....
We need more info before we all jump to the divorce chant.
Sure if she was an evil b1tch and OP got nothing from her for years then ya I'll jump on board the D bandwagon...but we still don't have the whole story.
IDK zookeeper... imagine this....I married a dirty little tramp, so what did I expect from Mrs. the guy? I'm wired different then most. So when I did the crap I did, I took that into consideration when I fogave her.
So thats why I took someone like OP WW back.
This isn't some 5-7 year marraige there is alot of history....none of which OP has mentioned, beside it being 31 years.
31 years of history is all the more reason for his wife to have treated him with respect and not have betrayed him in such a way. Multiple times. Lied and deceived him to cover it up. If he was a wife beater or otherwise terrible husband, why did she screw at least 10 men and then stay married to him all this time? If he was abusive, the acceptable course of action is to leave him, not cheat and cheat and cheat (oh and bring him an STD) lie and and cheat some more.
Also, are you really implying that there is a way to be a good enough spouse that cheating becomes an acceptable and forgivable pastime? I'll never be on board with that.
It is safe to assume that he has not gotten the whole truth. There are probably more men, more recently and perhaps it continues to this day. She did not come to him and proactively come clean, she was caught red handed, admitted the least she could, swore that was all and then he found more evidence. Trickle truth at its best. She is a serial cheater. I see nothing redeemable about that.
Whatever you did in your life is great if it made you happy. If you chose to excuse her betrayal because you did something else wrong, that's your business. I hope it worked out for you. Keep in mind that if you look hard enough you'll find someone who survived a car crash because he wasn't
wearing his seatbelt. It can sound compelling, but it is a statistical outlier, not an endorsement for not wearing seat belts.
Most people I know value trust in their marriage more highly than anything else. Even cheaters are devastated when they find out that their spouse cheated on THEM! A one-time moment of weakness at a particularly vulnerable point that is proactively confessed to before it is discovered? I doubt highly that I would reconcile but I can understand why someone else would. Serial cheating that is only partially admitted to after confrontation with irrefutable evidence? No way on Earth.