My wifes betrayal - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

User Tag List

 342Likes
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #61 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 12:43 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 9,948
Re: My wifes betrayal

Gotta wonder about her suddenly developing her disorder. Strange how for years and years she was perfectly able to leave you at home and go off for her private singers life without the disorder causing problems.

I can't help but wonder if it was something that happened during her years of swinging with many many men that caused the disorder? Perhaps drugs that she took, or a series of bad experiences ? Perhaps a rape or gang bang ?

This wasn't a woman who has a fling with another man,

She has sex likely hundreds of times - even if was 10x with 10 men that is 100 times, or once a week for 2 years.

Given that these guys remember her years later, it wasn't just ONS. No, she was an ongoing sex partner for many many men. She let you provide the safe dull home, but she turned to these men for her sexual enjoyment.

I'm thinking she ended up with something traumatic that gave her , her so called panic disorder - rate, gang bang, obsessed lover. You don't go from living a vibrant swinging lifestyle and having sex hundreds of times to house bound panic disorder without a big trigger.

Don't some drugs have that kind of long term affect on people?

She's clearly has more sexual experience with these other men, than she's shared with you.

So why should you now be stuck with the left overs from their fun?

You've got years of life ahead to find someone actually worthy of your love, and not wasting it someone who finds you dull and non attractive.

Shaggy is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #62 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 12:50 AM
aug
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,972
Re: My wifes betrayal

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaggy View Post
You've got years of life ahead to find someone actually worthy of your love, and not wasting it someone who finds you dull and non attractive.
This.

Man, if you can't divorce her after she handed you a painful death sentence and cheated on you throughout your marriage, then you better develop a better and stronger self-respect and self-love.
aug is offline  
post #63 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 01:01 AM
Member
 
WorkingOnMe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Washington State
Posts: 6,042
My wifes betrayal

Quote:
Originally Posted by aug View Post
Your wife gave your HPV.

Did she have cervical cancer?

Most likely your long term outlook is prostate cancer from the HPV. You can thank your wife for that.

May I suggest you start researching ways to prevent a possibe prostate cancer?
First, all warts are caused by HPV. Second, the type that cause cervical cancer are not visible to the eye. So if you have a visible wart it is not possible to cause cancer from that particular wart. Third, the type that do cause cancer on not testable in men. And finally, there is no link from HPV to prostate cancer. Only cervical and throat cancers.

The CDC has a good web page where you can educate yourself. Don't take my word.
WorkingOnMe is offline  
 
post #64 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 01:58 AM
Registered User
 
mkshammas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: jordan
Posts: 1
Re: My wifes betrayal

cheating cheating cheating cheating
mkshammas is offline  
post #65 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 02:58 AM
aug
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,972
Re: My wifes betrayal

Quote:
Originally Posted by WorkingOnMe View Post
First, all warts are caused by HPV. Second, the type that cause cervical cancer are not visible to the eye. So if you have a visible wart it is not possible to cause cancer from that particular wart. Third, the type that do cause cancer on not testable in men. And finally, there is no link from HPV to prostate cancer. Only cervical and throat cancers.

The CDC has a good web page where you can educate yourself. Don't take my word.
These studies indicated linkage:
Human papillomavirus and Epstein Barr virus in pros... [Prostate. 2013] - PubMed - NCBI
Prostate cancer and sexually transmitted dis... [Fam Med. 2005 Jul-Aug] - PubMed - NCBI
Human papillomavirus 16 or 18 infection and pro... [Ir J Med Sci. 2011] - PubMed - NCBI
Identification of viral infections in the prostat... [BMC Cancer. 2010] - PubMed - NCBI

I was looking for studies that supported my position. In fairness, I also came across these ones that indicated no linkage:
HPV persistence and its oncogenic role in prosta... [J Med Virol. 2012] - PubMed - NCBI
HUMAN PAPILLOMAVIRUS TYPES 16, 18 AND 31 SEROSTATUS AND PROSTATE CANCER RISK IN THE PROSTATE CANCER PREVENTION TRIAL
aug is offline  
post #66 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 03:33 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 722
Re: My wifes betrayal

I do believe, though I could be wrong, prostate and anal cancer due to HPV, most often happens in those who engage in anal sex. With those homosexuals have a more than 12 fold increase in them. Probably due to the nature of anal sex (soft skin easy torn, an often lack of adequate lubrication etc.)

I believe the hetero cancers for HPV in men are throat, penis, genital and groin area.

Even so, the vast majority of HPV infections clear on their own. Most women, up to 70% or more will have HPV at some point in life, so it's pretty much unavoidable in this day and age.

In addition, developing cancer, any cancer, from the harsher types is still extremely rare, especially for men.

I believe circumcised men had lower infection rates of HPV, and STDs in general, than non circumcised men. Probably due to the scar tissue around the sensitive areas of the penis where the skin is thinnest. In addition the fold of uncircumcised men creates and area that "catches" stds, creating more of an opportunity for infection.

I know the approximate chances of catching aids during unprotected sex with a positive female is 1 in 500 for a circumstanced man. I think the chances increase for a non circumcised male. I don't remember the number for that though.

This is all going on memory of course, and i could be wildly wrong.

Last edited by awake1; 09-15-2013 at 03:42 AM.
awake1 is offline  
post #67 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 06:21 AM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chester, Va
Posts: 14
Re: My wifes betrayal

We never had children. All of this took place during the time that we were trying to conceive. In the back of my mind is this thought that she was on birth control the whole time which is why we have no children. I asked her if she had been on birth control and she denied it but I can't believe anything she says. I asked her what she would have done if she had gotten pregnant. She said that she didn't believe she could because we had been unsuccessful for a number of years. Several have asked about my age. I am 51 years old. I do work out but I've put on a few pounds over the years. We started dating at 16, married at 20.
Mustang1968 is offline  
post #68 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 07:15 AM
Member
 
Chaparral's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 11,504
Re: My wifes betrayal

Unfortunately, it has become a rule around here that whatever a cheater first tells you is just a tip of the iceberg. It always works that way. I can't remember a time a wayward spouse has told the truth until the betrayed spouse has found out a lot of it on their own. Be prepared for this to get worse as she trickles more information.

Did a doctor diagnose her as being sterile? This has sent some women around the bend. She may have tried different men in an attempt to get pregnant and prove she wasn't defective.
Chaparral is offline  
post #69 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 07:39 AM
Member
 
LongWalk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 11,200
Re: My wifes betrayal

Awake, my cousin, while in her mid 50s, died of cervical cancer. She told me she got HPV from her cheating second husband. I made certain both my daughters got vaccinated with the new HPV vaccine. It does not stop all forms but still has already been shown effective.
Boys ought to be vaccinated as well.

Circumcision is often promoted as a disease preventing measure. Sad and very unpleasant for all the men who have this done to them without being asked. It does not provide real protection. Many of the gay men who died of AIDS probably were circumcised.
LongWalk is offline  
post #70 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 07:41 AM
Member
 
LongWalk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 11,200
Re: My wifes betrayal

Tell her to start writing a time line. I think there is even a model somewhere on TAM that she can fill in. The time line will make lying more difficult.

Do you have her email?

LongWalk is offline  
post #71 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 07:51 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 229
Re: My wifes betrayal

Mustang,

I'm am so sorry you are here. You have my sympathies. But look, I'm not going to sugar-coat this ... what your wife has been up to is disgusting. This has to be one of the most repulsive stories I've heard of so far.

31 years is a long time, but it in no way makes up for the atrocity she has made of your marriage. Normally I would be looking for some shred of hope for reconciliation in a marriage but there is just no way in this case.

51 is the new middle age. Get a divorce go out and salvage the rest of your life. What she has done is unforgivable to a man with even a little self-respect. You will never be able to trust her, of that I'm sure.
ironman is offline  
post #72 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 07:57 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Northern California
Posts: 321
Re: My wifes betrayal

Mustang, the timeline we speak of will help eliminate all the doubt you have as to where you were when this garbage transpired. It gives you some peace of mind for the times, or possible gut feelings you had if she was being unfaithful. Now you have some truth, not all, but at least you have confirmation that you are not crazy. In my world and what I do for a living, I trust my gut. I was a whisper away from being killed twice. Any hesitation of me not listening or a second delay of reaction, I would have been a grease spot on the freeway and shot. If your gut is telling you "you don't have it all" then you don't. For me I need all the info I can gather to make an informed decision on how best to react or make that decision, good or bad. Unfortunately all you have is bad and worse. STD, sir for me I'm not sure if I could hold back my anger and shear disappointment in my partner. Trust, respect, love, admiration, all GONE!!! Please forgive me for hammering this but if you don't have trust you might as well forget the rest. You just don't have it all and you probably never will, it might be too painful of information and even a bigger pill to swallow. Hang in there.
Rottdad42 is offline  
post #73 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 09:04 AM
Member
 
kenmoore14217's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Bum Phuck NY
Posts: 439
Re: My wifes betrayal

[QUOTE= I asked her if she had been on birth control and she denied it.[/QUOTE]

Come on man, that's like asking Jeffrey Dahmer if he ever ate anyone?

Quit asking the criminals for the truth !
kenmoore14217 is offline  
post #74 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 09:33 AM
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Spain
Posts: 3,986
Re: My wifes betrayal

Timeline + polygraph

Mal de muchos, consuelo de tontos
Acabado is offline  
post #75 of 237 (permalink) Old 09-15-2013, 09:39 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 4,984
Re: My wifes betrayal

You are right to question whether you have no children because she lied about being on birth control. Lying seems to come very naturally to her, so why not about this? She is a serial cheater and liar.
alte Dame is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Hurt and Betrayal popit7 Physical & Mental Health Issues 2 03-19-2013 12:50 AM
Do you really ever get over the betrayal? Lawyer101 Coping with Infidelity 24 01-21-2013 06:39 AM
On betrayal maincourse99 Going Through Divorce or Separation 4 01-10-2013 09:09 PM
Exquisite betrayal Ryley01 Coping with Infidelity 9 12-28-2010 01:38 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome