Hey father of 2---Calif---is kind of quirky about family law---there are mandatory decisions made as to property and custody payments, based on a set schedule---that goes and usually doesn't change---everything else including custody, is up to the judge, and what the atty's say in the coutroom---so nothing is set in stone---the best thing you can do for yourself---is go to google---go to calif statutes, and read all the statutes in the FAMILY LAW section---that will cover EVERYTHING, you will encounter---so you can get your answers anytime you want---you do not need to go to an atty, unless you need interp., and of course if you decide to pursue D
One thing you need to know----when a criminal commits a crime---there needs to be some good solid punishment, if there is not---the criminal will commit that crime again---AS THEY GOT WHAT THEY WANTED, AND THERE WAS NO PUNISHMENT TO THEM---they got away with what the set out to do---so WHY NOT DO IT AGAIN
Your wife has for whatever reason---"dissed" you at the highest level, and also PUT YOUR SON IN DANGER, BY BRINGING THIS GUY TO YOUR HOUSE----that is UNFORGIVEABLE---in all reality, she did not know that much about him, that he wasn't gonna do harm to your son, that he wasn't a loony/druggie/criminal/abusive--and there he was in your house with your son in the next room, basically unprotected------your wife I am sorry to say, is one very lousy speciman of a mother---you can argue that point all you want---she is a bad wife, and a terrible mother---no matter how you wanna spin it---nothing will ever be right in your family AGAIN---and it is all on your WIFE
Once again, as to custody, and who gets what---that depends, on how much of a bulldog you have for an atty, but in Calif---nothing is EVER CUT AND DRY
Don't know that your wife really loves her lover, as much as just wanted some foreign spice, and got bored with you---who knows---only you really know the state of your mge, prior to all of this, and why your wife might have strayed---I am sure you can come up with some answers---then it goes on her, as to what her thought process was
Bottom line---this not going away---you can either suck it up, and stay with her---and you will live in MISERY, and your kids will live in a miserable household---cuz the underlying currents will never be good------or you can do probably what is best for you, and the kids---and move on----also at this point no matter what---DEMAND, YOUR WIFE TRY AND FIND A JOB---that may be harder said than done---for there is, in Calif., usually 400 people lined up for every job coming available----