If you truly value your marriage, you should sit down with your hubs and talk to him about it and talk to your counsellor as well. I know things aren't the greatest in the world now a days, but you may want to consider seeking other employment if you can't forsee getting over him, even if you absolutely cannot talk to your hubs about it. Getting totally away from the OM may be one of the only ways you can get past him.
There was a time when I wasn't there for my wife as I should've been which led her to exchange inappropriate emails with AM, however there has never been any direct contact with her and him as we reside in different states. I have since changed my ways drastically. Even tho the thoughts of that are still there, I forgive her completely and I don't blame her at all for what she did as I do believe it was partially my fault for the way I was. Once she explained that she was not as happy with our marriage as she could've been, I completely understood and now that I have taken the steps to correct my past, she has since told the OM to stop all inappropriate contact.
Overall, your hubs needs to know how you feel if you are indeed not happy in your marriage. Communication is key. Best of luck and I hope this helps.
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Okay, thanks very much. This helps. I am in marriage counseling & individual counseling too. I finally told the counselor (after 3 months of counseling, about the EA). I was hesitant to tell him but glad I did. At this point, the counselor has suggested not sharing the EA w/my husband because there are so many issues between my husband & I and the counselor feels my husband will use the EA to shift the blame to me when is actuality, our problems have existed for years. At some point, I may tell him.
I did try to switch locations for my job but it didn't work out. I make very good money for p.t. ($33 an hour), and there is nothing else I could do to make that much. We have 4 kids, so I am pretty stuck right now. I know that I SHOULD leave work. I know that would be best.
I give you a lot of credit for being so understanding to your wife. You sound like a great guy. Its very hard to explain how an EA starts. I take responsibility but I will say that you kind of get swept up in it and are in deep before you know what hit you. Good for you for forgiving her.
I have to say that my husband is trying to change w/regards to the abuse. I feel guilty because if he had done this before the EA, I know things would be so much better for us. But, after the EA, my mind is pretty messed up. I feel completely numb to my husband right now. I do know that our communication is terrible. We hardly communicate at all anymore. I am very unhappy but am scared to tell him (even though he knows it in a way cause of counseling), because of my values and our kids. We just keep going through the "motions" of being married but neither of us are happy.
I appreciate your thoughts. I am going to try to work on the communication more.