jessi

a little background for some who don't know my story, married 23 years, 2 grown children.
husband had an affair for a 6 month period in 09, I found out in Nov/09.
he was leaving me for her, said he loved her and he was not in love with me anymore....
I said fine, go, we did a separation agreement, changed the banking. All was left was for him to move out.....
That was Jan1/10. Well he had every excuse why he couldn't find a place, I was being patient, I decided to go to Florida for the month of March just to re-group and get away from him and his affair. He came to me and ask if he could go, I said Ok, I listened to what he had to say, which was that he didn't want to go and he wanted to try to work things out with me.
He broke it off with her, gave me all his passwords, has agreed to marriage therapy. Agreed to leave the separation agreement in place until I was convinced I could trust what he says.....
he says he feels a great amount of guilt and doesn't really like himself very much. He has apoligized and cried about what he has done to us and his family.
The problem is she is not letting go very easily, she is doing everything in her power to still get my husband's attention, even crying suicide. He just deletes her texts and emails and has told her many times that he is not going to change his mind and that he is staying with me and that he is still in love with me......
Anyone else have any experience with an OW who will not accept that it is over?......
How long does it take till they stop?
It's hard enough to get through all this without having to still deal with someone who just won't give up.....

losinglove

If she has been told no contact, could this be considered harassment or stalking?

Sorry no advice, just a thought.

jessi

I guess that is true, we just want her to go away and let us heal now......thanks for the thought.....

Affaircare

Every time they contact--even crying suicide--is a way of attempting to prolong the affair (on her part). I would suggest a police report just detailing your husband telling her to stop contact, steps he's taken (like changing email or deleting her off facebook or whatever), and her continued attempts to intrude. This won't accomplish anything OTHER THAN giving them some facts and filing a report so they know that trouble is brewing. Next time she threatens suicide, contact 911 letting them know she threatened suicide and needs a "wellness check." Finally if need be, you can call the police, file a restraining order, that kind of thing.

__________________
Helping couples recover and reconcile after an affair or keep their marriages affair-free at Affaircare.

The 180 * Coping With Infidelity Newbies--Please read this!

swedish

__________________
~Swedish

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.
Albert Einstein