Thank you all for your responses...and after reading them, you all are all write and I do agree. I task now is to give him an ultimatium.
If I could add a note or two - before you give an 'ultimatum' - make sure you know exactly what you want and what you are dealing with.
For one thing, if your husband is chatting with women, he is carrying on multiple affairs. This means that you can approach this entire situation the same way you deal with any other affair.
The issue is sex - he has formed a habit (addiction) to this form of sex, and as such, he will need to address this if he wishes to stay married to you. Question is: do you want to work on your marriage?
I ask that, because if all you are wanting to do is make him stop chatting and viewing porn, you are merely trying to control a behavior of which you do not approve. People do not respond favorably to control.
So you'll need to figure out: 'Do I want to save my marriage' or do you just want to make him stop doing something that annoys you. This distinction is important because it will determine what kind of 'ultimatum' you use.
If all you want to do is control him, tell him to quit the chatting and viewing porn or either he or you move out.
If you want your marriage to improve, let him know that you are aware of his cheating, and your request is that he stop it and begin work on the marriage with you and if he does not wish to stop - or refuses, or denies it - let him know that the consequence of this action will be that you will have to separate.
The two options are similar - but in the second one you specifically let him know that he has a choice of working on the marriage or losing you. The first option simply tells him that he must stop his actions or lose you - no mention of working together is relayed. It is simply you controlling him.
The only problem is that we have other children that I didn't mention. I have a step daughter that we are raising and two son's from a previous marriage. I relocated and moved in with him after we were married, so I would need to move. I know that this is what I'm going to have to do as he thinks in his mind that he has not done ANYTHING wrong. Our kids are going to be caught right in the middle of all this mess, but i don't know what else to do.
The kids are already caught up in the middle of things, so your task should be to work toward teaching them the right way to deal with things.
Just keep in mind that there is most likely a reason why he is acting this way - this sounds like 'escapist' behavior - he is trying to avoid something that is bothering him. It could just as easily be heavy drinking, or drugs, or anything else. This is the path he has chosen - which probably indicates that the problem is a sexual one - maybe not 'getting enough' or feeling like family life intrudes too much on your intimate life - who knows.
This is the only constant: unless he stops this behavior and turns back toward you, you won't be able to fix things.