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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Ready to feel normal!!

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 04-08-2010, 08:46 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Ready to feel normal!!

For people that don't know my story I found out my hubby was having an EA in Aug. They have cut off all contact other than we do see her when we go racing but as for as I know they haven't talked there either. He has done almost everything I have asked he hasn't liked it but has done it. The OW has been in a relationship that she claims she loves him since Nov. Her best friend still runs her mouth to me(she is my hubby's best friend girlfriend) Hubby hasn't talked with her since Dec because I think she still wants us broken up. My problem is I still think about my hubby cheating on me even though he says the most he had done was hug her and call her on the phone. I don't always feel like I am loved by him. I still feel like I want to leave that I will never get over the fact he cheated on me. Time has helped some but I feel like he got away with it without even feeling guilty about it. He has his racecar, his affair and still got to keep me. I got a broken heart and a hubby I don't trust..
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Old 04-09-2010, 08:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ready to feel normal!!

I think when something like this happens the relationship is never what you thought it was again.
I think it just will take time to re-build that trust in your belief system again.
It sucks I know but hang in there....
Make your marriage affair proof now so you never have to go through this again....
He will feel regret when he sees what he almost lost..
don't let that situation take anymore from your relationship or your future together....
good luck
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:01 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ready to feel normal!!

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Originally Posted by jessi View Post
I think when something like this happens the relationship is never what you thought it was again.
I think it just will take time to re-build that trust in your belief system again.
It sucks I know but hang in there....
Make your marriage affair proof now so you never have to go through this again....
He will feel regret when he sees what he almost lost..
don't let that situation take anymore from your relationship or your future together....
good luck
It's hard not to let the situation take the life out of me.. I think I want out and I go to tell him I want to call it quits and before I can get it out of my mouth he does something sweet so I give it another week or so and the feeling just keeps coming back. I don't know if I can every forget what he did to us...
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:36 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ready to feel normal!!

what makes you feel there was affair and if her best friend is telling you everything you should be sure about what happened
When you love someone it is really hard to take such decision especially when you don't have any proof to your doubts
Don't let it bottled up and don't let it go be honest with him like you are honest with your feeling i don't know if he is trying to manipulate you by being sweet when he feels you are going to say something he doesn't want you to say it
You won't get over what happened until things become clear for you and discuss it openly with him
he needs to know how you feel and to hold responsibility for what he did even if it wasn't affair the conseqences are destructive and he jeopardized your relationship
So the deal is even if maybe you won't know the truth about what he did with her let him know the truth about what he did to you
I suggest couseling before taking any decision
My thoughts with you
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Old 04-10-2010, 11:58 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ready to feel normal!!

I agree with Jessi. You can have "normal" again, it just will be a different kind of normal.

Make & keep your marriage strong so that nothing like this will ever happen again. Sometimes try to look at things in a different perspective and that helps. I think you can take any bad situation and realize it could be SO much worse. Your H had an EA that consisted of talking and hugging........oh how I wish mine only talked and hugged! Feel fortunate you don't have to deal with the knowledge and thought of more. ALSO feel comfort knowing he hasn't had any contact with her and is there for you now. It sounds like he is trying (being sweet, etc.) That's good news too!

Not sure that helps at all, just trying to throw out things I do to try to get through this mess. As Jessi advised, I too try not to let the situation take anymore from my relationship. You can't control what has happened in the past, but you can do everything you can to be in control of what happens going forward. Best of Luck to you!
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