Re: Does the cheater hurt too?
Your husband sounds a bit like mine. For my husband, this behavior is a product of his supreme ability to compartmentalize. If that's the case with your husband, he may genuinely feel terrible about what's happened, regret his choices, and want you back - when he speaks with you or interacts with you. But he may feel none of those things when you're not around.
I believe that many cheating spouses do eventually feel deep regret and remorse for what their choices have cost them, their spouse, their families. But not all of them do.