I know about my H affair, not sure if just an EA or PA, but passionate. I've seen 1 email and see his phone records but not the content of texts. Also read his journal....no evidence of PA but lots of passion there.
HE DOES NOT KNOW THAT I KNOW. He only knows that I am sad miserable and upset about our situation. I've lost weight.
Discovered the situation 1 month ago. Had several convos with my H about problems in the marriage (of 18 years). He is going for counseling; he's had disappointments at work this year. He is reluctant to go for MC. Told me 2 months ago that I don't respect him. I have been distracted at work for some years but he didn't complain. I think he is re-writing our marital history. When I ask him to express how he feels, he has great difficulty. I have told him that I want to work on our marriage, I have been very attentive and compassionate, but am very confused and sad inside.
So, instead of confronting him I did the following:
1) Made appt with MC - he wants to wait 2 weeks not sure why.
2) Spoke to a divorce lawyer.
3) Getting finances in order.
4) Got the OW husband's cell phone number - have not called.
He seems to feel that he no longer loves me, will not have sex - not that I want to... I don't know the extent of his affair. But I miss my husband. I love him but he has said he is not sure that he loves me anymore.
I am beginning to despise him because of the way he is conducting himself. If we break up, it will be very difficult for both of us financially. I told him this. I HAVE NOT CONFRONTED HIM ABOUT THE OW.
I have a fledgling business, not really earning enough to support myself yet. I am 55 years old. I feel I will be successful but this is very distracting. I am worried about health insurance. My atty says try to win him back; I don't seem ready to leave him.
I was very close to calling the OW Husband today but I know that things will spin out of control if I do that! I really want the affair to stop.
Please offer advise.