Thank you for your responses. I come to TAM for a sanity check. Am I crazy? Is he narasasistic or just plane nuts? He takes medication for his depression for almost 9 years now. Sees a psychiatrist , has thoughts of suicide however displays complete and total composure at the snap of a finger. His responses are so far removed from the gravity of hurt he has caused that I wonder if he's just crazy or is this a true psiosiopath?? I truly believe he does NOT think he's done anything wrong. I believe he thinks what he did wrong is that he let himself get caught. He says the following to me and I quote ( with attitude and anger mind you ) " The only reason we are dealing with this is because you found out. I never treated you bad and wasn't planing on changing that. I was thinking of leaving but I wasn't sure. Maybe I would leave or maybe I wouldn't leave ever. This is now a problem only cause you learned of the affair."
I walk away from conversations with him speechless 9 X out of 10. My response this time was " well what your saying is , you wanted to have your cake and eat it to. Your mad that your side life was discovered but what you wanted is to live two lives at once???!!"
He then asked that we have all future conversation in front of a third party because HE FEELS that I twist his words around and manipulate what he says.
Now is this narsasision? Insanity? Psiosiopath ? Denial? Just plane a**hole? What?
Also my name here is Stuck on Hold because after almost 10 weeks I have yet to make and progress with this man. Progress as in getting him to understand the severity of our situation. To call what he is doing "sweeping under the rug" is an understatement. He will not and does not sit down and address a thing. He will not leave either. He says I should leave him alone and let him do the one thing he's good at at that's being a father. However he doesn't even see that by cheating on me he cheated on his children as well?!
I only agreed to speak to a counselor with him to see if I can get out what I need to address. To see if maybe with a third party he will have just the slightest minimal ounce of a wake up to where things are with the family. This is at a point where I'm afraid now. Not afraid for my life because he's not physical at all but afraid for my sanity. My children sanity and how dysfunctional all of this is?
I come here to TAM because it's so sad that a bunch of strangers are able to listen and see my point and the father of my children whom I married and shared a life with is so far gone in his affair fog that he can care less what I say. He just wants to cook dinner, take the kids for activities, pay the bills, buy me gifts, plan family vacations for the holidays like we just hit a bump in the road.
He also said, that if it wasnt this woman it would have been someone else because he was always searching to fill this void. Then when I repeat that back to him he says that I took that statement out of context and thats not what he meant..........Maybe I'm the one that's crazy