for the techies - text surveillance - help!
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 10-08-2013, 07:36 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default for the techies - text surveillance - help!

I KNOW that my husband is texting OW up to 40 times per day. I have his phone records online and see every text ocurrance realtime. BUT when try to look at his phone there is NOTHING!

Here's my question...is he deleting the texts and then they're just gone! When I delete texts on my iphone, they stick around for awhile. He has a samsung Intensity III....a very simple phone. No email account, just voice and texting.

Pretty sure there is no decoy phone......But where do all these texts go? Is is simple as deleting? He is not very tech savvy at all, so hard to imagine that he is pulling this off, but from what I've read, it's possible.

If I bothered to buy a SIMcard reader could I see deleted texts?

Thanks for the support....

Daibai
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Old 10-08-2013, 08:47 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

Have you googled the model of phone and "recover deleted text"
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Old 10-08-2013, 08:54 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

What's the point, if you know he's doing it. That would be enough to confront.
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Old 10-08-2013, 09:01 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

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What's the point, if you know he's doing it. That would be enough to confront.
Respectfully disagree. He will shoot her down AND make her take the blame for being paranoid with just that.

What carrier? Shared plan?
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Old 10-08-2013, 09:02 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

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He is not very tech savvy at all, so hard to imagine that he is pulling this off, but from what I've read, it's possible.
Right, but the OW might be a techie and/or veteran cheater, so she's instructed him on it.

Did you look in at his SENT folder? Sometimes those morons forget about that, even though they're good at deleting their inbox.
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What's the point, if you know he's doing it. That would be enough to confront.
^^^THIS. 40 times/day. It would be nice for you to be able to read the texts, but I'd say that you know enough at this point to stomp some azz.
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Old 10-08-2013, 09:05 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

Are you named on the account? If so, I know Verizon will send you the transcripts of any texts sent to/from the phone, but they only retain them, on average, for 3 to 5 days. I'm not sure how other carriers work, but I imagine there's a good chance that they'd have a similar policy.
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Old 10-08-2013, 09:07 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

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Respectfully disagree. He will shoot her down AND make her take the blame for being paranoid with just that.

What carrier? Shared plan?
What I meant is that if she already know he's cheating and she's already knows who the OW is, then this is more to throw in the pile of evidence.

It diffrent from not knowing if there is cheating, from knowing he's cheating and with who.
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Old 10-08-2013, 09:14 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

Mab. Respectfully disagree. Just had CRUSHING success with my new confront script involving divorce papers with a picture paperclipped to the upper right corner.

The person who used it had devastating success with the combo. it was deadly and she surrendered completely. I wrote like 10 lines for him. She gave in on the second line. First line was a prelude. Second line was the papers and pic.

Done. Game over. Surrender. It even sounds like he got most of the story the first go.

She lacks anything but coincidence. Once she has that it IS affair and with who....
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Old 10-08-2013, 09:15 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

I didn't Know Verizon would do that. They probably charge through the nose.

Yes, he is probably deleting them. But there are probably remnants on the phone. How down and dirty do you want to get? How much money are you walking to spends?

Why not block her number from the account? It might draw him out.

Where is he when he texts? Are the any phone calls? Emails?

How does he know her? can they see one another in real life? Just shook my head... real life....

If so, are there times when there is No. texting between them that could be when they meet?

If there are calls then is a voice activated recorder in his car.
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Old 10-08-2013, 09:21 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

samsung Intensity III is a newer "old style" phone. It's main feature is that it's a dumb phone with good texting capability due to slide out keyboard. The only reason to buy this phone is texting. Did he purchase this phone recently?

Because it's an older style OS the text platform may have both sent, and deleted folders. You'll want to check these.

Texts will more than likely be stored on the phone itself, and not the sim card.

Check his images folder for any downloaded pictures.
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Old 10-08-2013, 09:21 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

Do you already know who the OW is? If not, do some net searches on her phone number. May turn up something.
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Old 10-08-2013, 10:23 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

According to one website it says that if you buy a SIM card reader from one of the spy and gadget stores you may be able to put the program in your computer and download the data from the SIM card and retrieve deleted messages. I am not a techie but if I wanted to know for sure I think I would be tempted to buy one.

Under your circumstances how are you going to get the SIM card? Will your WS give you his phone?
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Old 10-08-2013, 02:51 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

THanks everyone!

I'd set up an email account under my name for his phone activity. He changed it today, I think with her help.

What I have is a spreadsheet with texts to her home and cell phone number for 3 months. I have a copy of a downloaded email from his computer. No PROOF of PA but certainly an EA. SHE says in the email oh baby, baby my love....and "what will you do if she begs you not to leave you?" She speaks of her husband and their problems. He is not as effusive in the email. However, I also have journal writings in which he professes his love to her. He says "I want you, I need you, I love you. The email and copy of the journal are in the safe deposit box, he has no access to it.

You're right that she is tech saavy, has been helping him with all this.

THat's all I got!

It's time to confront. I don't know why I am so scared to. If I confront, there may be no future for us possibly. I want to save my marriage. I have the H cell phone number but that seems like too much drama for me. I have contacted an attorney and am ready to file for D if need be but really want to save my marriage.

He has agreed to MC due to our marital problems but is putting it off, says he needs 2 weeks.

My atty says just try to win him back but this is killing me. I have stomach pains, can't eat or sleep and hard to work. Crying all the time. Feel weak and sick.

Thank you any advise is helpful.
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Old 10-08-2013, 03:23 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

It is drama but doesn't the guy deserve to know what she is up to with your husband? And if you want to stay married the affair has to end.

There isn't a guarantee but there is a good chance being found out will make at least one of them run back home because divorce is hard, painful and costly.

If you tell him try to coordinate so you confront at the same time do they don't communicate in between.

Her husband could be very valuable to you.

It is your choice but a lot of people who didn't expose later regret it. You expose to the husband, your family, your husband's family and friends
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Old 10-08-2013, 04:17 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: for the techies - text surveillance - help!

Expose her to her husband. Don't warn them, expose to the family as well.

Good work.
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