If I had my own I would have shown her the door. i hate being stuck.
You really need to talk to an expert on health insurance.
Your wife cannot drop you as long as you are married. If you are legally separated with a written signed separation agreement I don't know if she can drop you or not. If you are out of the house but without
a signed legal separation agreement you may or may not be legally
Your lawyer can advise you what the legal status is for different scenarios. Specifically, if you move out are you legally
separated? Can she unilaterally do something which makes you legally
separated? This will all depend on your local laws.
So, there are situations where you will be married, or legally separated, or physically moved out but not legally separated. You need to know precisely what puts you in each category.
Then, you need to know legally what your rights are, and what her obligations are, for health insurance in each category.
When married she cannot drop your insurance, I believe.
If legally separated, can she drop your insurance? This is the critical question to get an expert to answer.
If she cannot drop your insurance, you have no reason to stay in the house.
If you simply move out without doing any kind of separation paperwork, in your specific state, can she drop your insurance? You need a true expert to answer this for you.
I think you are making assumptions about your insurance coverage without having true real facts. It would be to your benefit to get out of the house now.
Also, how long does divorce take where you are? If she fast-tracked it, could it be done before Jan 1? If not, you have nothing to lose initiating divorce today, as long as your lawyer tells you she cannot drop your health insurance if you file divorce.
Once Jan 1 comes along, are you able to afford your own insurance? You, I believe, will be able to buy it with the pre-existing condition. So the question is whether you can afford it.
Finally, would your wife be amenable to some kind of open marriage agreement which would allow you to keep insurance through her but you agree to live separately as if divorced?