Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 01:26 PM Thread Starter
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Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

I finally installed a recorder in wifes car. I got all I needed in one day plus something I wish I never heard. She said she was ashamed to me seen in public with her and she would walk several feet away Married 25 years next month.I am fhicially ill now. I have call and cancelled the rest of my chemo and radiation. I now officially don't care anymore. I am doneWhen she leaves I lose all heat insurance. and home.

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post #2 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 01:29 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

Don't do this to yourself. Get better if for no other reason than to spite her. If you're on her health ins you can make that part of the divorce benefits to you. Don't let her get away with this despicable and reprehensible behavior.

Get yourself as many benefits as you can- see your lawyer immediately.

A todos les llega su momento de gloria.
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Wayward wife's sad storyhttp://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...ml#post1385676
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post #3 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 01:30 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

Hey man. Don't cancel your treatment. I know this is terrible and its consuming all your headspace, but there's so much more to life than your relationship.
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post #4 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 01:34 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

I'm sorry that you are here, and I'm sorry what you heard. I know that it's horrible, and you probably feel like you are punched in the gut right now.

Don't cancel your treatment, however. Get well for yourself, be healthy, and show her that, despite you being ill, you are strong and confident and can weather this. Although you may not feel like like it at this point.

Talk to your lawyer about what options that you have.

No man is rich enough to buy back his past. - Oscar Wilde

Last edited by Writer; 10-18-2013 at 01:39 PM.
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post #5 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 01:39 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

Please don't stop treatment. Life is a gift, and an evil person like her is not worth it.

There are options in getting medical care, you also don't have to lose your home. Lawyer up.
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post #6 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 01:42 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

v8crazy,

I understand the urge to want to rid yourself of her. But don't do it at the expense of your health. Do it strategically. Talk to an attorney and don't spill the beans to her until you do.
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post #7 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 01:48 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

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Originally Posted by v8crazy View Post
I finally installed a recorder in wifes car. I got all I needed in one day plus something I wish I never heard. She said she was ashamed to me seen in public with her and she would walk several feet away Married 25 years next month.I am fhicially ill now. I have call and cancelled the rest of my chemo and radiation. I now officially don't care anymore. I am doneWhen she leaves I lose all heat insurance. and home.
See an attorney. You need to file for a legal separation now. Have the attorney add to it that she has to carry you on her health insurance going forward.

If she forces it to a divorce or if your state does not have legal separation, you can have the divorce state that she has to provide you with health insurance.

How long is your chemo? You can have your attorney stall the divorce while you are through with the treatment.

Yours is a case where Obamacare might be a good thing. Once it kicks in you will be able to get health insurance w/o preexisting conditions being an issue. If you have no income or low income you can get on Medicaid.

In the future come here for advice before you take radical actions like stopping your medical treatment. Please call them back and re-establish your treatment plan.
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post #8 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 02:05 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

V your feelings of devastation are normal but they will pass and you will want to survive. Don't stop now. Your decision now may be irrevocable.

No court will allow her to stop health care coverage. If her company stipulates taking an ex off of the plan then she will be instructed to buy the same quality for you.

Same with the residence. The spouse that needs to stay put the most gets to stay. All is not lost. You will see, Speak to an attorney.

It's your choice to assess the quality of your life when you get some distance from this but not now. Get through this first, keep up with your treatment.

Do you have kids?

My magic wand would remove shame from sexuality for all! Anon Pink

Last edited by Catherine602; 10-18-2013 at 02:11 PM.
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post #9 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 02:33 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

I hate this world. You deserve better.
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post #10 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 02:52 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

V - I would go the same route you are heading, no more chemo, no more treatment, F the world. But that would all be in my head. Your world sucks. But don't let this tramp of a woman stop you from living. Don't.

She said and has done mean nasty things. Because she is a mean nasty POS.

Let her rot.

You, "V", need to take care of yourself. You are right now at one of the lowest points of your life. I am praying for you.


This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.
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post #11 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 03:20 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

What she has said.....how on earth, why on earth are you letting her direct your feeling of self worth? Get to grips with the fact that she is far shallower than you ever imagined she would ever be and realise she is not the woman you thought she was.

If she is not only embarrassed, but able to say that out loud, she is not worth another breath of yours to tell her 'get out'.

What support is she? My god....I just want to rant and rant....I would never ever ever ever be that way to a loved one. God help her when she gets a serious disease that affects her physically. My god! I am flabbergasted. Do not let her direct your future! In fact, tell me where you live so I can come and kick you up the arse and into reality. DO NOT LET A SHALLOW HUMAN BEING DIRECT YOUR FUTURE!

Am I clear?

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post #12 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 03:45 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

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Originally Posted by v8crazy View Post
I finally installed a recorder in wifes car. I got all I needed in one day plus something I wish I never heard. She said she was ashamed to me seen in public with her and she would walk several feet away Married 25 years next month.I am fhicially ill now. I have call and cancelled the rest of my chemo and radiation. I now officially don't care anymore. I am doneWhen she leaves I lose all heat insurance. and home.
dude...seriously...there IS LIGHT at the end of the tunnel
there is life after divorce

If she is justifying her affair to a posom or someone else, then OF COURSE she is going to say nasty crap about you...its how low cheating scum justify their actions

dont take it personal...dont listen to anything else this posws says...build your case, lawyer up, and take out the trash

but do NO stop taking care of yourself...in a year or so when your healthy, and out with a new hottie, you can look back and say "to think I almost gave up...but didnt"

now reach down, grab your sack and remind yourself its still there...and move forward...tam will always be here for ya and good luck!!!
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post #13 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 03:48 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

Sounds like she's a cancer. What she says only speaks to her lack of worth as a person, not yours.
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post #14 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 03:54 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

Based on OP's other thread, I fear that he's at her work causing a scene right now. I hope not.
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post #15 of 656 (permalink) Old 10-18-2013, 03:57 PM
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Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for

What a terrible human being.

Please keep up your treatment. Take care of yourself. See a lawyer about separating but keeping your health insurance. Remember there are new laws in place that mean that you are eligible for health insurance now when you didn't think you were before. Check these out if you need to.

I'm so sorry. What a horrible way to treat someone. Have faith that you don't deserve it.
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