amitchell2018

My husband and I have been married for 1 1/2 years together for almost 5. He has a 5 year-old son that we have full custody of and I have raised as my own since he was 14 months old. He calls me mom. I have caught him writing e-mails to other women and answering ads on Craigslist. He said nothing has ever been physical. We have really great days and really bad days.

Yesterday he didn't call me all day, which is very weird. He is a firefighter so he works 24 hrs off 48 hrs. I have 9-5 job. So I get home and he said his phone is broken (others times that I caught him, he broke his phone on purpose) becuase it fell in a cup while he was driving. Happend 2 months ago too. So I'm suspicious. I walk in our room and the pictures from our wedding on each bedside table are missing and the pictures on my dresser are covered up. Whoa...

I ask him and he said I am making things up and the pillows must have made both pictures fall. really??? Am I supposed to believe that. We fought all night and now he wants to ignore that anything happend. He said for us to move on I have to forget the past and stop making myself sick over not trusting him.

I never realized how hard this would be to explain, there is way more to the story.

Do I forget about it because I do want our marriage to work and I am tired of fighting? He said he wants to go to see a counselor but we really can't afford it. If I left money would be an issue. I pay for everything except house payment and with student loans could not afford to pay rent, but I do want it to work.

Mommybean

No offense, but with the pictures being misplaced...covered---MY H did that when he was having an affair. Sorry, but that is a sign you cannot ignore. Look into counselors that charge on a sliding scale, or if you have a local university, check to see if they have a counseling center staffed by licensed professionals but "worked" by graduate or doctoral students in the counseling area. We were able to get counseling there for $5 a session based on income. If you "forget" about it, your marriage is never really going to work, because it is based on a false picture he is painting for you. Also, student loans CAN be put on deferrment for ecomic hardship reasons. You don't trust him for a reason...you need to listen to that feeling inside you at this point.

amitchell2018

No offense taken. He tried to tell me that none of the other pictures in the house were moved. He said you can tell by the dust. HA, but those aren't the pictures you have to look at while in the act.

If it is the case his is having a PA, do you ever forgive him and get over it?

Mommybean

My H and I worked it out, and a year out have the best realtionship we have had in the 6 years we have been together. It takes a lot on part of both parties, but it has to start with your H owning up to what he is doing. If my H had not done that, met the conditions I laid out, etc...then no, we would not be where we are today. Was it hard? Yes, but I am glad I stuck it out. The person he is now is that man I always saw in him, but he did not know how to be. If your H is willing to go to counseling, I would say persue every avenue you have to get some sort of counseling.

jojo0613

If you have a family plan, you should check your phone records, see if he has a favorite person he chats with on odd hours. My husband did the same thing. I ignored it too, plz don't, it's one thing for him to have an affair and it's another to allow him to have a relationship.