Re: Some one please read and help me I am out of options
I think if she is writing this email to you, she has to still care. If she was totally angry with you, she could care less about what your credit rating turned out to be. This is also an opening for you! Email her back, lets have dinner(either a neutral place, one of your old favorite places, or ask her to make something you really enjoyed. Offer to help her get a good resume written then, not through the email.
I know exactly what your wife is saying. I am going through this myself. So she says you don't do a,b, or c anymore for me. Then you run out and do all three steps in a matter of days when you haven't done it in years. It feels like you did it caused I griped about it and not cause you really wanted to. Get it? There is where the guilt comes in. Your appeasing me so I will stop saying that. My hubby would argue your case, you said you needed this so why the heck are you mad I did it?
As far as the house goes.First, you both agreed you loved the house but not the location, then why hang onto it. She isn't pushing for a quick divorce but she is worried the house is going to create a huge financial matter later.Then sell it! Maybe a new house, starting out new is exactly what you need. Now saying that, she isn't going to sell this house and buy another with you. She might move closer to OM. You need to be prepared for that. When you have dinner with her, talk about what areas around you and her that might be good to relocate for her job and still be close to yours. Don't hound the issue.
Jar, sometimes those little things mean more than the big things. Ask her to come play at the park with you and the dog. Tell her the dog misses her. SHe will know it is you but who can deny the dog! Stop by her work, leave her a note. Hey was in your area, thought I would see if you were having a good day. If you know she was having a bad day, put a teddy bear in the car and say hey, I heard you needed a hug, since I couldn't give you one, I sent Teddy. It sounds corny and mushy but she needs to feel all warm and gushy inside again about YOU and not the OM. He still is exciting to her.
Jar, never ever write on her facebook like that. Some of her friends know what is going on and when you write that on her facebook, she feels guilty! Text that to her. Make it personal. Facebook should be kept for general comments. When you get back together, then you can write that on facebook and tell it to the whole world. You got to go back to basics, you have no kids so this should be easy for you to do. DATE your wife Jar. Just like in the beginning and add some new stuff to keep her guessing. If you make her feel bad or guilty about things, she will want to bolt more. Romance her back.
She still cares for you or she would not have mentioned I know your on vacation but I know you will check your email. I need to tell you this. She is worried.LOVE BANK POINT TIME, are you going to make her worry until you get back or are you going to say, honey I get back in two days, do you think we could have dinner and talk about the house thing and the other concerns you have? Which one is going to make your wife respond to you the most?
Do not argue with her at dinner. Set the rules when you get there. You know this stuff is hard on me and I can't discuss certain things without getting to emotional so how about we have a code word we can use to let the other know we are getting to close to a subject that we are not ready to discuss. Make it something silly so when you do say it. You know she is going to try to press you on things , and you keep yelling bannanas, bannanas! It will make her laugh and keep you both enjoying the evening. Try to make another date with her to discuss how things are going with the job, when you can come over to get stuff, whatever you think will get her to say yes.
Keep in mind the OM will not be liking the idea of you two getting together and you can bet he will say something that will start a fight. Poof goes that NRE and fog! He may even pull out the stops, to keep her from coming,then stop agreeing to things. You don't need a mediator to talk to your wife,you need to do it!