Re: Wife having an emotional affair. How to handle it?
My brother walked right in front of my wife and Jim together yesterday. They were in line for the drive thru at Chickfila and he was walking to go inside. It is really eating at my brother. He just glared at them as he passed by. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: Wife having an emotional affair. How to handle it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by josh1081
LOL...haven't ever added any cents here, two or otherwise. But my anniversary is Friday. I think you may be onto something with this month having some kinda bad reaction with it. Maybe Halloween casting a spell on the month? Posted via Mobile Device
What IS it with the October spouses, man? Brings a whole new dimension to "Evil Twin"
Okay in all seriousness I have thought of the absolutely PERFECT gift for a birthday or anniversary. Go back to your wedding day, find a copy of your vows, and hand write them out as you said them on your wedding day. Take your time and write them as pretty as you can--using fancy stationery, a fancy pen and your very best hand writing. Then buy a larger size, fancy invitation envelope and include the beautiful vows and a little note that says, "I still mean them just as much today as I did on the day we said them to each other. Happy Birthday/Anniversary my love."
Re: Wife having an emotional affair. How to handle it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wisp
Please PM Tanelorpete for advice on the next steps
Your a long way off and there is always a risk for the turn for the worst, always assume the worst so you are not shocked when it happens,
When you speak to her family be very civil , and ask for their help suggest they call her after a few days when the realisation sets in.
Remember Jim will also be under pressure, they will talk, create plans get emotional , I suspect very emotional based on their behaviours you have described in the past.
Your one and only target for now is to stop the affair thereafter win you wife back
Suggest after talking to the family let things lay for a short while you assess what is going on..
If she does go to the lawyer say you are going to fight for your marriage and want joint counselling - better advice will be forth coming from the experts.
Sounds like my story just add a 2.9 year old kid to it. I am feeling ****** but have to put on a bold face for my son. I am posted in India and my wife thought she couldn't live here and so moved to spend time with her parents to a different country. I supported her all along as i understand India could be a difficult country. the affair should be about 3 months old but discovered it 1 week back. Since she was in the afffair all i heard from her was "I love you but am not in love with you". This is an office affair.
I cant approach the CEO or the HR of her office as the person she is having an affair is with THE CEO. I have contacted him he denied and the affair continues. Next day sent him a cease and desist mail to end the affair (with copies of his SMS and hr long calls to my wife) which he is not responded to.
After she got to know i exposed it to her "CEO" she hates me and blames me for everything. I have taken care of the kid for the last 2.9 yrs. I am unable to get in touch with her "CEO's" wife I wish could but not working.
She says she now is convinced that she needs a divorce as i was never a good husband and now have brought her shame.
She threatened to call my parents to let them know that she cant live with me any more and would file a divorce. I spoke about this to my mum and called my wife back the next day and handed the phone to my mum so she could have a word but my wife hung up.
I found that this guy was checking and reading my mails to my wife. So sent him and my wife this morning an email mentioning that he should stop reading my emails. He is himself married with two kids and is married for 12 yrs. I wanted to let my wife know that he is trying to be more controlling than i ever was because she accused me of this.
In this whole process i have not got in touch with my wife, all i did was sent her a mail saying she is always welcome provided she comes out of her fantasy land and says sorry to out son for what she has been doing. I will be doing a few more exposures tomorrow.
Re: Wife having an emotional affair. How to handle it?
You need to find his wife. Pay someone if you have to, but TELL her! Also call your wife's parents, siblings, and best friends, and tell them the same thing - ask them for help saving your marriage and ending the affair.
Surely, this CEO has someone higher than him? A Board of Directors? Let them know what he is doing; let them know you're thinking of sicking a lawyer on both him AND their company.
Re: Wife having an emotional affair. How to handle it?
Since you are in contact with OM, ask him if his wife knows about this. Then let him know she will very shortly unless he stops his behavior. The afair must end in order for the marriage to recover. Read some of the longer threads form the sart to see how things work. Much of this is counter-intuitive. No begging, pleading or groveling. You may have lost all confidence. No rash moves. Come here and post so that you can get some clear thinking to assist you.
She is going to have to change jobs. Zero contact with OM. But considering your circumstances that is not likely until OM gets the message. Exposure may work to bring her back. But with her she is shamed (as was my wife). Exposure serves to get the affair out in the open so it is in the light of day. Then they enter the real world and get to see how they function. More later. Affaircare and others should pipe in this afternoon or evening.
Stay calm. Take some deep breathes. If you get anxiouus call a good friend or relative and vent. Vent until you feel better. Or come here and post. There are plenty of big hearts here.
Re: Wife having an emotional affair. How to handle it?
I wouldn't warn OM that you're going to tell his wife - that gives him time to set her up with 'there's this crazy guy I fired and now he's trying to ruin my life, saying all kinds of lies; if he calls you, just hang up.'
Re: Wife having an emotional affair. How to handle it?
During my lunch break today, I went into my wife's place of employment to pick up the next season of a show I'm watching. I noticed my wife's car wasn't there, so felt it was safe to go in. What I didn't notice is that Jim's car WAS there. As I turned a corner to go into one of the DVD aisles, he was coming around the same corner from the other direction.
I'm pretty sure Jim almost wet himself. He turned around and walked away. When I went up from to check out, he sat on a stool glaring at me, I guess because he felt safe sitting behind all of my wife's friends that were working up front today.
It took everything I had not to say something to him, but I held back and just acted as if he didn't exist.
Re: Wife having an emotional affair. How to handle it?
Hi,
After reading your story, I couldn't help but think that your wife has a caring husband right in front of her, and she's one of those types that doesn't get it.
Putting all drama aside, marriage is a choice. There is so much more temptation out there where people can associate privately, unlike "back in the day". So therefore, marriages will suffer. It's so sad.
Anyway, my point is don't hem-haw over any of it. Get to the point. Let her know that you love her, but at the same time you are not going to share her ANYMORE. (anymore because you have been sharing her with "Jim"). Also let her know you have knowledge of her activities. If she gets angry then that's her problem. Remember, she broke the trust with YOU, so sure you're going to check her story to regain trust again!
She is making her choice, she has her cake and she's eating it too. She has hubby for physical comfort and then has gay friend for male emotional comfort. She needs both from you and for whatever reason she's choosing a distructive path.
Please know it's not YOU. It's some type of emotional problem that she has, and if you aren't meeting a need she should come to YOU about it, not outside sources first.
It doesn't matter that you two struggled because of an illness, actually, a crisis usually brings loved ones closer.
I hope you just tell her like it is, don't be afraid to tell her directly, looking her straight in the eyes what you know, you have that right. And she will have to work to regain your trust, that's just how it is.
db
Re: Wife having an emotional affair. How to handle it?
Nattu Khattu~
Since this is land's thread we want to keep the focus and discussion here about him and his situation. However I did start a new thread just for your here: Nattu Kahattu's Thread.
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Land~
OMG! I can not believe you controlled yourself so well, running right into him like that! I am not positive I'd have had the self-control but I'm proud of you. You were there on business, conducted yourself with confidence, and he has to slink away like the snake he is!
Re: Wife having an emotional affair. How to handle it?
Thank You Affaircare for starting a new post for me. I was so so so connected with what land was going through that i had to pour what i have been going through.
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Re: Wife having an emotional affair. How to handle it? 
Helping couples recover and reconcile after an affair or keep their marriages affair-free at 
OMG! I can not believe you controlled yourself so well, running right into him like that! 
