Info about AM, scapel you may want to read this... - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 06-12-2010, 10:46 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 86
Info about AM, scapel you may want to read this...

I invite you scapel bc your posts are what introduced me to AM. I have been doing research on there. What I am finding is that not all men and women are on there for sex. I remember your posting about a lunch that you caught your wife at and I just want to let you know that some on there are looking for friends with maybe a possibility for more. They are not all scumbags. I am now told that I am extremely attractive and therefor have attracted pretty much all types on there to my mailbox. The most attractive men and the nicest ones on there have had a few "meetings" with other women which means lunch, or drinks, talking and only a few times was there more involved. I mean if the hottests of the hot arent getting into the sack, lets face it, the average arent either.

Many if not all women on there are so hurt in their marriage that they just want to "see" if other men out there could be interested in the. This may be why there is alot of "date" lunches going on... the women just want to feel wanted by someone. The men have complained to me about the other women all tricking them into believing they wanted sex when in fact they were simply testing the dating waters out. Some women were trying to see what it would be like to be divorced and backed off when they didnt like it. Some wanted to get revenge on their husbands, some were just plain described as crazy bad mouthing their husbands was all they were interested in. A few women did go all the way and then only did it once and disappeared... so I dont have follow up on them.

I havent read lately whats been going on with you and your wife bc I havent been on here for a while (doing my research), but remember your post about when you caught her coming out of a lunch. I gave advice back then I think that if she had gone that far she was planning to do more or had done more... and I now know that with most women that are on that site, this is NOT the case.

Nearly all of the men on there are looking for sex, romance and fun/passion that has been gone... literally gone from their marriages for years... that is no sex at all for years... their wives dont want it, and are glad its a part of thier past. However, that being said, there were a few who were striclty looking for cyber chat, a few that were looking for friends and most men that wanted the sex aspect also were open to just being friends with someone and if it lead to sex great, if not great... and they really meant it. I only discuss this anonymously for now. Once I actually write an article about my experience, I will still be anonymous... these are hurting people not scumbags... well I actually didnt talk to men who had names like big****4you so maybe they are scumbags. Their name works against them in my book if in fact, they are nice behind the name.

Wish you the best and hope this info is helpful to anyone trying to heal from a wayward spouse... that wayward spouse really is hurt even if he/she appears angry, or resentful or closed off from you. Some of the stories just made me have to hold back tear, bc I couldnt believe that was happening, someone was being so closed off... worse than in my own marriage. Its almost worse than being in prison... its an emotional prison in your own home, a place that is supposed to feel safest. It has helped me better understand my husbands emotional affair.
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 06-12-2010, 10:53 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 86
Re: Info about AM, scapel you may want to read this...

I want to add that in understanding why people are seeking others... it has made me admit to myself what I contributed to my marriage to make my husband want to have an emotional connection to another woman. I suggest that everyone stop focusing blame on the cheating spouse. Yes, what they did was so hurtful and awful to the marriage, but really lose the pride for a while and admit what you contributed to that spouse straying from you. Its stuiff you may not even realize you are doing, or stuff that you dont believe to be hurtful... but to your spouse it is. You cannot move forward just making the wayward spouse make ammends... you too have to make ammends, and change the behavior that hurt the spouse or the cycle will begin again and the chance for straying will resume.
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