Dear OP!
I did read your whole story, and I was impressed by your swift action, and clearheadedness.
Then you lost your head, and you rationalised it as 'I'm in Control'.
Friend, when it comes to the opposite sex, you are never in control of the other person, you are only in control of your own actions. What you do may make the other person adjust, it may not.
You surely recognise what I am saying in the whole thing about 'cheating being a choice of the other person' and 'confident men work on themselves, and if a woman is interested, great, if not he doesn't need her and the take-it leave-it attitude radiates from him.' The underlying perspective of both things is that 'you are responsible for you, they are responsible for them'. Is the theory wrong?
Have you ever 'made' someone do the right thing? Of course not! a) Convinced, b) set an example, c) dealt out consequences - these make people INTERNALLY decide to do the right thing, and in the case of women (a) won't work, (b) helps in the long term and (c) is the best short- to medium-term solution.
Flowers, nice words and sudden attentiveness don't work, because it's based on the logical 'a' and not the 'b' or 'c' of DOING. Not to mention that (a) reeks of manipulation.
A bit like children, it pains me to say, but maybe that's coz they're always off their nuts on feelings. Personally, I never did (a) with women, and yet I've always had long and trouble-free relationships. I never understood why other men were so weak. I never directly asked any woman out, for example, I just had a good time with them, and they 'chose' to pursue me - or so it seemed to my logical mind. It's only since coming here that I've understood what was happening. I was naturally showing my real honesty and independent attitude to life, never lying except to non-friends for example, and always refusing to put up with any shytty behaviour. Little did I understand it, but the women I have been with have brainwashed THEMSELVES somehow into attraction. Nothing I tried to do. This must be why I still like them, even though I dislike the fact that they go Cold after about seven years. And you know, even when they go Cold, I still get RESPECT and FAIRNESS from them. They leave ME the flat to live in, they pay their half of the lease. The last one wanted her computer back, I said 'no, it's got my stuff on it. GOODBYE.' and I'm typing to you on it now. But I was just being honest and not putting up with shyt even at the GOODBYE forever situation that I insist on. I'm never going to be 'friends' you see, because I smell fakeness in that, and the only sin for me is fake. Do you know when they call it quits? When they get a promotion, and at the same time I'm looking for work. 'Nothing to do with me, time to move on'.
In the last relationship, I was so annoyed by the previous one that I never said that I loved her in seven years, but I demonstrated it through my behaviour, so she never complained about it. Sure I felt guilty, but I wasn't going to be fake by using words. And a marriage vow IS just words, I'm sorry.
Right now you are demonstrating to your wife that you love her, but we don't yet know if she loves you, or if it's a game, or if it's a malfunction in her glands. I hope it's the first, but don't bank on it yet. Bottom line is, you may not be saying commitment, but you are DOING it. To just want sex for sex sake, we men change the appearance of a woman so that she becomes an object. This is why prostitutes and Friday night slappers are all 'dressed up'. They aren't attractive to us naturally when we don't yet know them, so they must change into sex objects to get the shag. Manipulation for advantage - conscious? Doesn't have to be, it just does the job.
Without the fancy heels and mascara, you would find your sex drive was actually very low, and relations between the sexes would be very equal. This is why I am suspicious of 'beauty', but again, this is just a recent realisation of why I am both repulsed and attracted by the Friday Night slapper.
Is there any other evidence of her DOING commitment? Sex isn't ALWAYS showing commitment for women, like a binobo monkey, they can shag for protection or pacification instead of attraction. Is she 'dressing up' - be honest, are you attracted to the Sex Object or the real woman? 'Bait and switch marketing' - beware!
You stand to lose everything by not maintaining your distance, at least for a few months. She could see a little celibacy as a 'penance' or a 'sacrifice' (c) - in the end you NEED to test her commitment, not obviously perhaps, before you start dishing out the sweets. If she cheated again, you'd feel so much less a fool if it was during her 'prove it' time than if you'd fallen for the fickle hormones trap.
I would like the women to come back to advise you on what she is up to. I would defer 100% to their advice, even if it contradicted me.
But one thing I know - so long as you give in to your on-the-spot impulses, you aren't in control - it's too soon. A good father shows compassion, but he doesn't spoil his child, or build his life around what his kids think/say they want.
I'm not criticising you, you sound like you're smarter than I am, it's just that we should lend our ears to the honest women on this one. Don't have to take their advice, but it shouldn't be ignored.
Wish you well!