Robrobb

I recall reading a side note in a thread on here about weight loss when discovering infidelity and wanted to open a thread about this topic. I experienced the same about a month ago when I discovered my wife's online affair.

I don't know how much weight I've lost since finding out, but it's significant. I've had a weight problem for most of my life and it's a factor, for sure, in my low self-esteem and ultimately, in the state of my marriage. Prior to discovering the affair, our marriage had been in terrible shape and she'd called for a break. I responded by eating more. Since discovering the affair my appetite took a dive, my weight has dropped a great deal, I've begun to address other problem areas of my life, and my self image is on the rebound. Taking the kids to the pool the other day I realized that, for the first time in years, I wasn't really self conscious about my image with my shirt off. Oh, I'm still significantly overweight, but I can see the difference. It's a little confusing to find this kind of positive response in myself to something so negative in my life.

So I wonder if others have had this kind of response to discovering an affair, and if this is a genuine kickstart to something or a temporary phase. I do hope that permanent changes in my habits result from this. So far my appetite has stabilized at what I'd call a normal level for a human male, and I'm seeking out exercise in ways I wouldn't have allowed myself to do a few months ago. There's plenty of pain in my marriage, but as for myself, I'm happier with myself than I have been in at least a few years.

2Daughters

Yes..I found it is a great way to diet.

lbell629

I wouldn't' say that it's a great way to diet ;-) but I lost over 20lbs in a month after my H's affair and I've managed to keep it off. But part of that is because I've changed parts of lifestyle in the process. I've been exercising more and making smarter choices when eating.

sparkle4

That has been the only good things about this whole situation. I have no appetite and have to remind myself to eat a little something. I have also discovered that walking helps me clear my mind and numb some of the pain. Any time I start to feel intense i walk a mile. I have lost 9lbs in the past two weeks.

stuckinpast

I completly agree since I found out about my H's sneaky stuff I too have lost weight. Just going through all this has changed me as a person in a good way.

2Daughters

Beats Jenny Craig

notreadytoquit

Yes I also lost about 30lbs since Jan 2010. I have to remind myself that I have to eat. My sleep pattern is basically non existent. I have been taking care of a now 19 mts old baby all by myself day/night since Jan 8 when my husband decided he was going to move to the basement. Just about a week ago he started sleeping in sons room so I can get some sleep as he says.
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Robrobb

Wow, sleep is another matter. I haven't slept in our bedroom since she asked for the break. She's moved to the attic bedroom, and I'm often in the double bed in the 5-yr-old's room. Tonight I'm away, but my plan for tomorrow is to make the big step and sleep by myself in the "marital bed". I'm a little surprised at how long its taken me to get this far.

And I do have a terrible time sleeping. I can get in 2-3 hours some nights, then I'm awake stewing or something or tiny snoozes for the rest of the night. Sometimes I put the 5 yr old to bed at 8:30 and fall asleep then, and then I'm wide awake at 1 and all screwed up for the next day.

It doesn't help that she's on her game/private chat from 11-whenever each night.

Confused.One

Yeah, in a "funny" way this whole affair thing has actually helped me tremendously with my weight as well. Over time I had went from a relatively muscular guy to a guy who barely worked out and was looking at getting jeans with a 38" waist to support my 230 lb frame. Now, I am 190 lb, the 32" jeans I bought are still too big and I have a ton of energy as I work out Monday to Friday. I feel like a new me! I can see veins in my arms that I haven't seen in years.

iamnottheonlyone

I am in the best shape I have been in 30 years. Should we patent this as a diet plan?

sparkle4

iamnottheonlyone
lol

I am not sure if it is worth the weight loss, I will let you know as soon as I scrape my heart of the floor.

2Daughters

The average heart does weigh 7 pounds, so you gott count that

zumama

I have lost 6 lbs in a week. I contribute it to the steady coffee and cigarett diet(havent smoked in over 15 years) that has been my life since learning of my husbands affairs a week ago. I need to be careful though cuz next he will be saying he did me a favor.

mrsbroken

I wished I had that problrm..I have gained since finding out when i am sad I eat..

Robrobb

In my case my wife had been losing weight for several months too - a sure sign of a wandering spouse, no? If we manage to work it out we should each have a better self-image - physically at least. Emotionally we're still in pieces.