ana318

long story short
My husband and i have been together for almost 3 years now. Last summer we seperated in july he asked for a divorce. But before then he would always go out and do stuff without me ( what i heard he was cheating, he's never came out and told me ). I have a 2 year old thats not his but his been there since i was prego. The real father passed away. So i would stay home with my daughter while he went out. well we were seperated for about 7 months, We both started dating other people. Well we ended up working things out and got back together. All was goog til this passed saturday before fathers day. I'm prego again of course with his baby im 4 months. Well i get this call from his ex that he dated when we were seperated that they got together and he cheated. On that saturday before fathers day. last friday i kicked him out and the following day he admited to it and is begging to come home. I just dont know if i can ever forgive him for this. Of course i dont' wanna go through this pregnacy by myself but i will never be able to trust him again. Every single day he tells me he's sry and he promises he wont do it again. I love him with all my heart but with him doin this in the past i just dont know if i can go through that again. Please help and give me advice!!!

babyblue

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. What is most important right now is that you look after YOURSELF first. I have a partner who is a bit of a jerk too and our situation sounds very similar. While I was 9 months pregnant, I found evidence confessing his feelings for another woman and I almost left him considering this is not unusual behavior. I think if you can consider couples therapy, and you give him guidelines based on what he has to do to be in your life, then it is worth a shot. Tell him it is definitely over if he cannot live up to them. You need to do what you believe is best for you, because ultimately that baby will be happiest when his or her mommy is, and if s/he grows up being used to having a father and a mother that are not together, it is much better emotionally for your child than if you split three years down the line, for example. No one should have to put up with this kind of behavior, especially when making the most beautiful gift in the world for your partner. It's just so wrong, but is actually more common than I thought. I hope you can figure out what is best for you. Remember that you just have to do what it takes to be a good mother.

babyblue

Oh and by the way, I am planning on leaving my partner as soon as I am financially able to as his behavior has not gotten better, even with the baby and him knowing what he would be losing. This may not be the case with your partner, and couples therapy might be worth a shot, but I'm just sending you strength in case you want to. :-)