Re: Do People Ever Think, "It Was My Fault"?
Of course! "I'm not (insert adjective) enough" runs through your head over and over, but eventually you find out that cheating has nothing to do with you. Depending on what kind of cheater (like my WH), they are so good at compartmentalizing that they honestly believe they still love you and care for you while going after some strange.
Cheaters are just damaged. Everything I have read on the topic points to the cheater's problem being the cheater's problem.
The ones who have gone through therapy (or are just gutsy enough to admit it) will tell you the same. For whatever little it's worth, my WH doesn't blame me. Gets angry when I go into "woe is me" mode and blurts out "It. Had. Nothing. To. Do. With. You. It was about me, things that happened to me, things that I wasn't dealing with" (background - he was an addict of just about everything - alcohol & porn mainly. No illicit drugs - couldn't do those in his line of work, random tests, etc.)
I feel sorry for those whose WSs are still in the fog of believing they have done nothing wrong. My situation sucks, but at least WH is at the point of taking responsibility - some people don't even get that.