Not a chance..
Stop the affair or loose your marriage.. Do not tolerate this under any circumstances she is laughing at you.
Typically the steps to save your marriage are:
Stop the affair and then save the marriage.
Do the following.. Suck your gut in and man up
. Breath deeply, focus, the road ahead is tough, act with conviction and do not waver. Gather the evidence
, copies of the mails contents, where she is going, photos if you can. etc. Do so NOW
Tell your wife; be absolutely clear that you know she is in an AFFAIR and it stops now. Do not debate, argue or present evidence.
I suspect your wife will decline so the next piece does not count YET. go to the end of this section.
If she says yes and agrees to cooperate say you require of her to write a no contact letter, she writes, you read, she mails. Sample No Contact Letters The Purpose Of No Contact
She gives you full access to her mail, text messages and any other form of communication she has with OM. All links to OM are to be severed.
Be very observant, doing these things does not mean she has stopped the affair – often this continues underground.
You must now support her, listen and hear what she says, try to understand why this happened in the first place, you may have to change - do it. Go to counselling together.
***** If she declines or denies then you have no option but to fight for your marriage
This step is caused exposure
Continue to gather evidence: - text messages, phone call details, mail content, her whereabouts, her behaviours every thing you can get.
You need as much information on the OM as you can get:-, his contact details, his wife , girlfriend, parents, place of work, etc.
Once done let all her family know
- just the facts only, no emotions calm and concise. Let her friends know Get hold of his wife & family let them know
If they work for the same company or the companies have a client relationship – let the HR teams know
You need to make the affair uncomfortable
and unpleasant and put it in the torchlight so all can see.
There will be some reaction, often the affair partner leaves home, DO NOT leave your home, it is their affair therefore it is their problem. Secure your finances
; you must not financially support the affair.
It is now that you have a difficult route.
They are in the fog and will not cease contact.
You have no other way forward on this and cannot influence anything while they are in this mode whether they are at home or not.
It is in this period you now start working on you. Affairs happen for a reason. A bit of self-assessment is needed.
Make changes to yourself; it must be evidenced by your actions. Do not grovel or engage in any communication or actions that place you at an emotional or mental disadvantage to your wife. You take the moral high ground, no lectures, no anger , no fighting, just loveable you who wants to save the marriage.
Extract from another post..
Instead, step back. Slow down. Learn some new methods of communicating, and begin a very thorough analysis of your marriage history. Look back for trouble areas - things that you may consistently fight about, things that bother you (but you never talked about), things that made you sad, things that hurt either of you.
Take some relationship questionnaires - download and print out copies: if your marriage is to recover and become a better refuge for the two of you, these things will give you the tools you need to communicate exactly what you need to fix the broken parts
Should you see your wife in this period then ensure she knows you love her and she is welcome to return back on condition she stops the affair.
You acknowledge your failings and evidence that you are working to be a better loving husband.
This is a long road and it may take days, weeks or even months.
Go to marriagebuilders.com and explore the tips to fix your marriage.
Research Plan A and Plan B.
Look after YOURSELF at all times.